Dear Shree, I am all for conjugal sex, but if I had to choose between self pleasure and letting my husband do it for me, more often than not, I’m going solo. After nearly 20 years of marriage, I have no reservations about deciding what I want and how I want it in the bedroom, and doing it my way when I can. My husband and I met when we were 20 and married two years later — so in the early days of our marriage, when we were both young and uninitiated in the ways of good sex, I masturbated privately, always scared to be caught. I didn’t want to hurt my husband’s pride by confessing to him that I never orgasmed during our sex sessions. As soon as my husband would jump out of bed to clean himself in the bathroom, I would quickly and silently shag. A later, my husband caught me red handed and on our anniversary, he gifted me my first dildo. I accepted his gift with elation and the understanding that sexual satisfaction was my own responsibility. Although we never spoke of it, I sort of knew that my husband realized I was unfulfilled. When I reached for the sex toy as soon as he climaxed, he didn’t protest. But our sex lives are on a loop, the same moves replayed over and over especially after we had two children in quick succession. I have now got hooked onto cyber sex and want to have an affair as I am dead bored in bed.