Muthuvel Karunanidhi

I have to maintain a secret diary because these days, when I speak, no one understands what I say. And that includes myself. The Centre keeps on sending messengers. One of them, Ghulam Nabi Azad, talks only Kashmiri, and does not know anything about Silappadhikaram or Tirukkural. Chidambaram does speak some kind of Tamil but I do not understand his references to a ‘balanced’ policy towards Sri Lanka and the ‘profits’ of such a line. My Sri Lanka stand is very simple and let me mention it before That Woman (chief minister Jaya Amma) steals it. Sri Lanka belongs to us and we must get it back. Remember our earlier agitation under Periyar and Anna (not that fasting fellow but our own Annadurai) when we fought for a Greater Tamil Nadu made up of Sri Lanka and Tamil Nadu? That dream must be realised now.

And why not? Read the glorious history of Tamil Nadu. Several of our heroes like Raja Raja Cholan, Seran Senguttuvan and, of course, the Pandyan kings had crossed the seas and conque­red Sri Lanka. Unfortu­nately, till now we poor Tamils have had to be satisfied making Sivaji Ganesan movies like Veer­apandian Katta Bomman—ah, his ste­n­tor­ian voice was eno­ugh to sink enemy ships! We, the Tamils, built Sri Lanka, grew tea gardens and gave the world the best tea along with the best spin bowler the game of cricket has seen, Muttiah Muralitharan! I have no words to describe the bravery of LTTE chief V. Prabhakaran, whose unmatched military strategy based on human (children) shields and suicide bombing saw success for so long. Hah, and then they say we don’t we have a claim on Sri Lanka.

Tamil Nadu bravehearts will not remain quiet if the UN resolution on Sri Lanka does not mention ‘genocide’, ‘holocaust’ and a Tamil equ­i­valent, ‘mahapralayam’. Already brave Tamil units of Naam Tamizhar Katchi, Tamizh Desiya Podhu­vudamai Katchi and others have exhibited their valour and anger by attacking unarmed, aged Sri Lankan Buddhist monks and a few arc­h­aeology students from Sri Lanka, Thailand and China. Beware, Tamil anger is rising and if it is checked I will take on my viswaroopam. And you know what the consequences will be then. In the meantime, let the rest of India learn to pronounce correctly the names of our Tamil political parties.

The stakes are high and unless we play our Sri Lanka card properly, That Woman will again bag all the credit. The various katchis and kazhagams are competing to arouse Tamizh anger. We can expect some more self-immolations and I have told my boys that the DMK must not lag behind. On a personal level, at tiffin time, I am no longer drinking Ceylon Tea but only neeru moru (watery buttermilk).

The Mumbai-based satirist is the creator of ‘Trishanku’; E-mail your secret diarist: vgangadhar70 AT gmail.com