K. Chandrasekhara Rao

Did I miss not being in Delhi during the swearing-in tamasha and all that? Dear Diary, No. I was doing something more important for my new state, its new people and myself. Every night I dressed myself in different costumes, one night like Andhra martyr Potti Sriramulu, another night like emperor Pulakesi of our region whose Chalukya armies devastated the Pallava kings. At present I am sleepless watching, tailing, observing whether those Andhra-domicile employees were infiltrating the government offices of Telangana. I know how dangerous these people are. Ha, I had fasted so many times to keep them out and with Telengana due to arrive on June 2, a final vigil was necessary. The Seemandhraites will do anything to hang on to us in Hyderabad, in our own offices, eating our own delicious biriyani with avakai pickle and depriving my own people of coveted jobs. I can’t have that, can I? In the past whenever my quest for Telangana state met with hurdles I would rush to Delhi, go on a fast-unto-death and call for a bandh. But as the state chief minister, I have to think differently. That is why a bit more militancy coupled with aggressive spying would help in detecting the presence of Andhra-domicile outsiders in my state. Should I adopt the strategy of the Nazis who were successful in spotting German Jews and packing them off to the concentration camps?

Naturally I had to set up a ‘war room’ for this purpose. India and Pakistan can think of coexisting but not the people of Telangana and See­mandhra. That is why every single list of government employees is being scrutinised with the latest scientific techniques to detect and deport the Andhra infiltrators. The idea of a ‘war room’ was suggested by one of our intellectuals who had watched a Stanley Kubrick movie of the 1960s which dealt with a likely nuclear war. My opponents are a dangerous lot, see how the Seemandhra CM-designate Chandrababu Naidu has wormed himself into the confidence of Prime Minister Modi.

The Centre recently sent an advisory team to divide the various offi­ces and everything else. Yes, every building will be cut into two and measured into two equal parts, one for us and one for them. Since we are the home territory, the Andhragarus have to accept the damaged portions. But there is something disturbing, many of my old friends are complaining behind my back that they can’t trust my word after what I did to the Congress. Ha! Everything comes to him who lies, breaks his promises and stabs his so-called partners in the back.

The Mumbai-based satirist is the creator of ‘Trishanku’; E-mail your secret diarist: vgangadhar70 [AT] gmail [DOT] com