Aside from the obvious physical discomforts, being ill for a long period of time fills the spirit with aterrible feeling of helplessness, but also with periods of analytic lucidity, which, of course, must betreasured. For the past three months now I have been in and out of the hospital, with days marked by lengthyand painful treatments, blood transfusions, endless tests, hours and hours of unproductive time spent staringat the ceiling, draining fatigue and infection, inability to do normal work, and thinking, thinking, thinking.