Mistress Of Spices

Ok, I am angry and annoyed at this over-hyped, crashing bore of a bad film but also merrily triumphant that my assessment of Ms Rai's potential, rather the lack of it, has not been far off the mark. We scruffy, sloppy journos have often been accused of being unfair to Ash just because she is so stunningly beautiful. Well, MOS clearly shows that Ash doesn't need our help to pull her down, she is doing it unto herself. The only time she really sparkled was in Kajra Re. But did that also have to do with the infectious energy of the Bachchans? I suspect so. It's time now for the lady to introspect about her roles, films, directors. And high time for us to stop pitching her as the international ambassador of Bollywood. All she is and can be is the face of L'Oreal. Period.

Watch her as Tillo, the woman who can see the past and future of those around her, who can help them with her spices. That faraway look in the eye; the simpering, fluttering, whimpering, whispering, self-righteous, overly pouty, now coy, now even more coy presence: if the passivity and feebleness of the character itself doesn't bug you, the performance by Ash will surely leave you doubly irritated. The cloistered woman can't step out of her spice shop, can't touch another person, can't give in to her own desires. Why, she even wears a kamarband as chastity belt! Then, just one glance at Doug (McDermott) and Tillo is all burning with passion. How does she feel such an incredible pull for such an average man? Pray where are the sparks, the heat, the chemistry? Even the love-making scene is chillingly passionless.

There's lot else that doesn't work: Tillo's conversations with the spices (done as voice-over) are grating, the percussive fusion music is the most jarring background score (including the instrumental remix of Aap ki nazaron ne samjha...), the image of spices are nothing more than a riot of colours. Perhaps Berges should have watched Ang Lee's Eat Drink Man Woman and The Wedding Banquet to learn how to make food pivotal to a film's narrative. To top it all are some genuinely inane lines: "When the roots are too strong they can strangle you too".

I normally don't watch films to stare at stars' clothes. But in Mistress of Spices there was nothing better to do. The best thing about it are Ash's elegant saris in muted shades. But in the end, she even sheds those for a flaming red, utterly filmi, chiffon number like any Yash Chopra heroine. 90 minutes of film viewing couldn't have been more difficult.

Bollywood
1. Pyare Mohan
2. Humko Deewane Kar Gaye
3. Shaadi Se Pehle
4. Malamaal Weekly
5. Rang De Basanti

Hollywood
1. Silent Hill
2. Scary Movie 4
3. The Sentinel
4. Ice Age: The Meltdown
5. The Wild

Trip-hop albums
1. Protection (Massive Attack)
2. Nightmares on Wax (Various)
3. Maxinquaye (Tricky)
4. Dummy (Portishead)
5. Simple Things (Zero 7)

Courtesy: Film Information