Chhota Bhim In Long Pants

Last week Pahlaj Nihalani, former Bollywood producer and new chairman of the Central Board for Film Certification (CBFC), kicked off a storm in Bollywood with his in-house diktat disallowing a clutch of English and Hindi cusswords and double-meaning dialogue. His hastily cobbled together list (and ostensibly unilateral decision) met with internal dissent,  specifically from board member and filmmaker Ashoke Pandit. Information and broadcasting MoS Rajyavendra Rathore expressed his unawareness about it as well. “Personally, I think it (lingo) has to be seen in a context,” he said at an informal interaction with women journalists in Delhi. At the same time, he was clear that the CBFC is an autonomous body and the ministry would not want to manage it or interfere with it. “How­ever, it’s not the end of everything. Perhaps they (CBFC) need to have a discussion with the film industry to arrive at a solution,” said Rathore. 

Meanwhile, in the ensuing theatre of the absurd, several questions have since been flying in the air: did Pahlaj Nihalani, who is no saint when it comes to double entendre or lewd lyrics (see graphic), put his foot in the mouth to put the I&B ministry on the backfoot? Was someone else speaking through him to test how far they could needle and push the film industry? Will the eventual reining in of Nihalani now help put in place a more liberal face of the new dispensation?

Filmmaker Anurag Kashyap, who will perhaps have to make silent films in the future if cusswords are banned, met Rathore this week and came back reassu­red that all was well with our ‘freedom of expression’. The meeting was facilitated by MoS for urban development, Babul Supriyo, himself an industry ins­i­der and one of the two BJP MPs from West Bengal. The ministry is now planning to hold a meeting with a group of Bollywood filmmakers later in the month after the newly instituted board has its first internal meeting. But, at the time of going to press, filmmaker Mahesh Bhatt didn’t seem entirely convinced with these overtures. In fact, he wasn’t quite sure if films would escape getting sanitised in the future. His stand has been clear: “Such crumbs of mercy won’t do.” “Our freedom is enshrined in the Constit­ut­ion,” he says, “freedom is the fundamental fuel of cinema and it’s our heartbeat.” And he wants it in “purna bahumat”.

He, along with brother Mukesh Bhatt, wants the Film Producers’ Guild to take the legal route. “We have to move the court of law to figure if a unilateral decision like this, made without taking the stakeholders into confidence, can be made a law on the ground. Will we be fore­ver besieged by such arrogance or be governed by the rule of the law?” he asks. It’s perhaps time for the faction-ridden and camp-based Bollywood to unite. “A member from each of the associations should come together to form a committee so that filmmakers are not left alone in the battles with CBFC. A legal cell should be formed with experts to argue on the filmmakers’ behalf,” says director Sudhir Mishra.

Meanwhile, Nihalani has moved on to take on former chairperson of the board, Sharmila Tagore, holding her responsible for letting loose the invective culture in cinema (his main grouse, the clearance given to Omkara during her reg­ime). But the media brouhaha over the  ‘advisory’ has led to some backfoot defence; he now says he was just giving an in-house reminder on something that already exists.

However, those who have been a part of earlier boards say no such list of cusswords has been around. Detailed and exhaustive guidelines are up on the CBFC website, so why the need for such an advisory? The guidelines quite clearly state that the films need to be seen in their entirety, the dialogues in a context. Also, cusswords are disallowed in only U-rated films and need not be beeped in A-rated films unless they are a threat to the “security, integrity and sovereignty of the nation”. So why such alacrity on Nihalani’s part to press the mute button? An outgoing member says, “We would err on the side of the filmmaker. The rule was, when in doubt do not cut.” 

Clearly, the new dispensation thi­nks otherwise. “A chairperson never gives direct advice. The CBFC’s job is to classify a film U, A or U/A, not give directions or dictate,” says filmmaker and former board member Shaji N. Karun. Filmmaker Sanjivan S. Lal is a bit more direct, “It’s about political appointees thrusting their ideology on us.” It’s also ironic that a person like Nihalani should do this grandstanding, considering his sell-by date (the last significant film he produced was in the ’90s) and the untenable vulgarity in his own films. A close friend of Shatrughan ‘Shotgun’ Sinha, it’s his proximity to him and Yashwant Sinha that is said to have led to this significant appointment.

One film that has had to face the music early has been Sriram Raghavan’s Badlapur. Despite being awarded an ‘A’ certificate without any  cuts, the makers were asked to mute a “f***” and a “c******”. “I can live with it,” says director Sriram Raghavan, but considers the attitude of the chairperson silly. “It’s like going back to those old, pre-2000 days,” says editor Irene Dhar Malik. All this at a time when a better rating system is being debated than the urgency to cut and snip.

Filmmaker actor Rajat Kapoor finds it all moth-ridden in the light of the fact that at “the click of the mouse all kinds of porn is now available online”.  Former chairman and actor Anupam Kher takes a more neutral approach. “India has changed. We are not cooking food on the angeethi anymore. The new wave filmmakers are taking liberties and rightfully so. But there is also an India away from the metros, which may not be exposed and literate, where the impact might be different. You cannot alienate that part of India,” he says. Well, to cut or not, as Haider would have asked, is the question.

Meanwhile, the Mudgal committee report (formulated after discussions with a range of stakeholders), which seeks to bring about the new cinematograph bill, still hangs fire. The government till now—earlier the UPA and now the bjp—has been dragging its feet on it. “It should change the scenario and offer a roadmap to the future,” says lyricist-writer Amit Kha­nna cautiously. Meanwhile, when the board meets for the first time on February 23, hopefully it would be time for getting some work done rather than issuing yet another advisory.

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Pahlaj Productions Presents

Nihalani’s own heave-o-meter

“Hey lag li lag li lag li kaisi hichki lag li/Arey jag li jag li jag li ye kya pyaas jag li” (Hit, hit, hit...hit by a strange attack of hiccups/Awakened...what a strange thirst)

“Angna mein baba, duare pe maan, kaise aayein gori hum tohre ghar maan...” (Father’s in the courtyard, mother’s at the door/How then to enter your house)

“Kambal na hatao mujhe lagta hai darr/ Bachenge kab tak dono chhupkar kambal ke andar” (Don’t lift the blanket I am scared/But how long can we escape hiding under it)

“Khada hai khada hai khada hai...dar pe tere aashiq khada hai/Band khidki hai band darwza...” (Standing, standing, standing...the lover is standing at your door/door’s shut)