"Yes, Virginia, There Is A Santa Claus"

The trouble with writing columns is that one has then placed one’s opinionsin the public domain for all to read and laugh their heads off when events takean unexpected U-turn. Last week I wrote that if you believe India can beatAustralia, you might as well believe in Santa Claus. 

The test match at Kolkata ended half an hour ago. I have spent this timeresearching on Santa Claus (aka. Criscringle, Father Christmas, Father Frost,Joulupukki, Kris Kringle, Père Noël, Sabdiklos, Saint Nicolas, Sancte Claus,Sinter Klaas, Weinachtsmann etc). And the most amazing fact that I’ve managedto dig up is that Santa Claus is doubly fictitious! Though most of us would beknowing that the name ‘Santa Claus’ comes from ‘Saint Nicholas’, whatperhaps few would be aware of is that even Saint Nicholas never existed! Mostreligious historians today are of the opinion that St Nicholas, instead of beingthe children-friendly 4th century Asia Minor pastor he was supposed to be, wasactually a recycled Pagan god. Apparently, there is enough reason to believethat he was created out of legends attributed to Greek god Poseidon, Roman godNeptune and Teutonic god Hold Nickar (Nickar—Nicholas, get the connection?).

This is how the Santa Claus lore took root in the US (which is Santa Clauscountry really; he’s traditionally called Father Christmas in England): Dutchimmigrants brought the legend of Sinter Klaas to the US, and in 1812, WashingtonIrving thought up the idea of Santa riding over the trees in a wagon. Ten yearslater, a dentist called Clement Clarke Moore wrote his poem The Night BeforeChristmas where Santa’s sleigh and reindeers (but not Rudolph) make theirfirst appearance. During the American Civil War, in an early example ofpsychological warfare, Abraham Lincoln got posters done of Santa socialisingwith Union soldiers. This allegedly had the intended effect of demoralising theConfederates. But the Santa we know today, the fat bearded chap in the red suitactually appeared first in the 1931 Coca-Cola Christmas ad, drawn by HaddonSundblom, a Coca-Cola employee.

In December 1999, Vote.com conducted a poll asking Internet surfers: "Doyou believe in Santa Claus?" Of the 4,114 votes cast, only 34 per centvoted for the option "No! Bah, Humbug! Santa's nothing but a marketingploy." 66 per cent voted "Yes! He spreads Christmas spirit around theworld."

By the fourth day of the Kolkata test, irate readers were writing in, callingme all sorts of names. This is what, for example, Mr G.S. Chandy had to say:

Sir:

Let's face facts: your sports writer, Mr S.D. Hrishikesh, has proved himselfto be an utter fool. Would he have the courage to acknowledge this?

Yours truly

(I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Mr Chandy is from Hyderabad. FirstKarnam Malleswari, then Gopi Chand, now V.V.S. Laxman…at least VenkatapathyRaju didn’t take a hat-trick or something, thank god for small mercies!)

Well, as I said before, this is the columnist’s occupational hazard. Youwax eloquent about the sensex touching 7000 soon, and the next day it goes andhits the subway floor. You hail the next great superstar of the silver screen,and the bugger’s next three films die on day one. All available evidencesuggests a kangaroo-wash in the offing, and then Harbhajan Singh comes good andLaxman plays like a god. I was a bit taken aback when I saw the grim, almostangry expression on Dravid’s face when he raised his bat on reaching hiscentury. I am now told that he pointed his bat specifically at the commentators’box and glared at all the experts there who had been writing reams on how Dravidhad lost his touch, how the Aussies had finished him off psychologically. Touche!

Vangipurappu Venkata Sai Laxman. I don’t think there’s any need to wastewords on his innings. It is surely one of the greatest and most valuable inningsplayed by an Indian batsman ever, and I think we have just watched the coming ofage of a superb cricketer. I hope he gets that triple hundred which eluded himthis time round.

In the meantime, since Mr Chandy asked whether I have the courage toacknowledge that I am an utter fool, my answer is, no, sir, I don't have the courage yet to admit that I am an utter fool. The fact that India declared only after playing for an hour on the fifth day and piling up a lead of 383 is proof that, one, Ganguly and Wright didn't have any faith (and rightly so) that their bowlers could bowl out Australia twice in a test match, and two, that they thought given five and a half hours, that is about 85 overs, Australia would have made the 340 or so they needed to win, if the declaration had come after half-hour of play. India had consciously opted to avoid defeat rather than even attempt a win. And I believe they were correct to do so. I perhaps would have answered differently if Mr Chandy had written to me with such conviction before end of play on the fourth day of the test...

And now for the third test at Chennai. But please allow me another digressionfirst. One of the most famous editorials ever written in a newspaper is "Yes,Virginia, There is a Santa Claus" by Francis Church in New York Sun in 1897.Eight-year-old Virginia O’Hanlon, bothered by allegations from some friendsthat Santa did not really exist, wrote to the newspaper with a simple request:"Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?" Excerpts from Church’sreply to the little girl:

"Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by thescepticism of a sceptical age. They do not believe except what they see. Theythink that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. Allminds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this greatuniverse of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as comparedwith the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable ofgrasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

"Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.

…..

"You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noiseinside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongestman, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived couldtear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain andview and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah,Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding."

Anyone got any answers to that one?

As for me, I have now taken a conscious decision to disregard all facts andstart firmly believing  in the existence of a Santa Claus. I’m investingin stockings. I’m raising money to build a chimney in my apartment so he candrop in. And I have convinced myself that India is going to beat the Aussies atChennai and win the series.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, and sometimes he plays cricket forIndia.