Letter To Ms Mamata Banerjee

Dear Didi,

You have done it again!

Just when the country thought you were finally simmering down, you had to prove us wrong. You have proved to us what an expert conspiracy theorist you are with your latest Facebook post about the blasts in Bodh Gaya:

Is it a game plan, before Lok Sabha election to disturb States, Regional parties and also to plan to murder some political leaders, so that nobody can raise the voice of people in future? Or is it a Blame game to avoid responsibility and to finish the Regional political parties who are not dependent on UPA? As a citizen of the country I feel ashamed.

There is no one like you for sure.

Perhaps your conspiracy theories have had a longer life than I have been alive. I cannot laud you for something I have no information about. So let me just stick to some recent cases from your career as a conspiracy theorist, starting with the early 2012 case, when you came across " defamatory" cartoons of yourself in emails. One of those cartoons even had the word ‘Vanish’ written under it! The perpetrator of this treasonable act was a man called Professor Ambikesh Mahapatra. You sent some of your goons to beat him up and teach him a lesson. But of course, how could that be enough punishment? You had the man arrested and put behind bars. You spoke of how the word ‘Vanish’ implied a plot to assassinate you. This Prof. Mahapatra was dangerous. He needed to be subdued.

In May 2012, you walked out of a televised interview-cum-talkshow. You were offended at some of the questions that the audience, largely made up of students, had dared to ask you. They kept badgering you about the arrest of Prof. Mahapatra, the increasing attacks on women and curtailment of democratic rights. You alleged that the students sitting there were Maoists; that they had been hand-picked to direct uncomfortable and “unlawful” questions towards you.

Fast forward to 2013. A young college-going girl was gang-raped in Barasat. Like a good Chief Minister, you went to offer your condolences, ten days after the incident. You rode pillion on a motorcycle to get there, because the roads could not to be traversed with your contingent of cars. Once there, you were met with angry protests by the villagers. You lost your cool and tried to put those silly people into their place! You openly voiced your belief that they were Maoists and CPI-M people! They were definitely hatching a joint murder conspiracy against you. It is a fortunate thing that you decided to meet the victim’s family only for five minutes. Your safety is of prime importance to us!

A few days later, you were still pretty annoyed with all this talk of the Barasat rape and of your state showing the highest number of crimes against women in the country. You were upset too. Isn’t that why you finally opened up about all those local news channels and talk shows that bring in special guests to talk abut rape and other instances of violence against women? Of course you did! You were sure these “Special Guests” were actually involved in pornography themselves. How else would they know so much about such things, eh?

I would like to end by saying, I understand you Didi. You already have so much on your mind. You do not know whether to side with the BJP or Congress for the upcoming general elections, or to form a regional coalition instead. These are indeed confusing times.

Yours faithfully,
An Indian Citizen