Outlook Spotlight

Married Life Issues 

Marriage issues are the new normal talked about subject of modern times. Why has the meaning of marriage changed, or have the methods of marrying changed?

Vinay Bajrangi, Astrologer
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This narration is for you to decide between: Have married life issues and then complicate your life in resolving it OR can we do something to avoid married life issues do not pop-up themselves? I am with the latter thought. 

Marriage issues are the new normal talked about subject of modern times. Why has the meaning of marriage changed, or have the methods of marrying changed? Females' upgraded status (no more men-dominated era), socializing at professional platforms, and excessive internet exposure have changed the definition of a desirable happy married life in many ways. Advancement is fine as long as it does not change/dilute the fundamental rules of anything and married life, also for that matter. 

Life after marriage sometimes changes 360 degrees, and these changes become the reasons for most of married life issues. Why? Because we did not know before marriage how the partner would respond/adapt or adjust to these changes: it means compatibility issues. But then the question comes: why should we allow such risks to surface in our relationship? Can we rule out such differences or at least minimize such factors responsible for marital life issues? Yes, we can and we should.

In my daily consultation routine, 50% of sessions are for marriage-related issues, and more than half of them are related to married life problems. People who reach me for marriage predictions, I try to counsel them to marry after matching the charts. Here, I mean to check the compatibility between two souls rather than the orthodox way of Gun matching. So, let this Kundli/chart/ horoscope matching be redefined as compatibility checking. Sometimes, people feel I am acting like a typical Pandit or greedy to get some money for horoscope matching: I don't mind either way because I know the benefits of horoscope matching. A perfect horoscope matching can avoid/prevent the maximum possible chances of married life issues. So, it is imperative to understand the main reasons for marital life issues. 
 
Reasons for married life issues
 
Now coming back to the main subject: Married life issues. Let me first clarify that reasons for married life issues can be three types:
1. Intentional/self-created. Yes, don't get surprised.
2. Circumstantial/planetary effects.
3. Misconceptions/ false notions about the spouse. (More than 30% of cases fall into this category).
 
There is hardly any family where we don't see disharmony in a couple's relations. It is not that marriage issues were not there a few decades back, but then people preferred to keep them under the carpet, and now, couples discuss them openly. People may have had more patience and a sense of duty back then, which is lacking in today's young generation. Thanks to ever-rising digital support and exposure- a strong presence of Rahu. Can we stop marriages from falling apart? Can Astrology be of any help in saving these degrading relations? Absolutely yes!
 
You think of any couple with marital issues, and you will not find such issues beyond the reasons explained below. Some of these reasons are self-created, and some are circumstantial or due to some specific planetary positions. But let me tell you with authority; one can comprehend all such reasons beforehand. You can also read more about this on reasons for married life issues  
 
Let's understand what could be the most common reasons for married life issues. And I will justify how to foresee all such reasons before they crop –up in your life to create marital unrest. Let's go one by one-   
 
Infidelity: It is common to find a person looking for love or lust outside the married relationship. In Astrology, Venus signifies romance, love, attraction, and attachment. A strong Venus in the chart guarantees good moral conduct and loyalty to the life partner. But if it gets afflicted or is weak in the horoscope, there are chances of infidelity or extramarital affairs. Similarly, Rahu is a planet of breaking stereotypes. It doesn't believe in following social norms or common values. Rahu is a planet of expansion, and it enhances anything it connects manifolds. When it influences Venus with its malefic and law-breaking tendencies, the person feels a strong urge for sexual relations, which doesn't satisfy easily. Under the illusion of Rahu, the person keeps looking for an unrealistically attractive sex mate he never gets. The influence of these two in certain houses can cause discontentment in sexual relations, and the person looks for satisfaction outside.  
 
Astrology indications for infidelity: Rahu in the seventh house, Weak or Afflicted Venus, Venus in the seventh house, the conjunction of Venus and Rahu.  

Sexual differences: Sex is an essential part of married life. Couples who lack this part have dull married life. Gradually, they lose interest in each other, and a need for another sexual partner creeps in. In Astrology, Venus represents attraction. And Mars represents body and passion. For sexual relations, both partners must have physical/bodily attraction and passion. It is not sufficient to see the position of Venus and Mars in one chart, and both charts need to be analyzed. If on counting, the zodiac sign of the girl's Mars falls at the 6-8 position from the zodiac sign of the boy's Venus. There will not be a physical attraction between them, E.g., the girl's Mars is in Gemini, and the boy's Venus is in Sagittarius. In this case, they will share 6-8 relations and lack sexual intimacy.  
 
Astrological indications for sexual differences- Girl's Mars and boy's Venus are on the 6/8 axis with each other, the seventh and twelfth houses are afflicted, and Venus gets afflicted by malefic planets.
 
Differences in values and beliefs:
The life partners may not belong to the same family status or background. We can conveniently notice changes in values with changes in geographical boundaries. Moreover, the thought process of the partners may not be unanimous. Here, the planet Moon becomes essential. The Moon represents our mind and thinking, and when it's under affliction or not placed in harmony with the other partner, there can be differences in values and beliefs. If the Moon in the boy's chart is on the 6/8 axis from the natal Moon of the girl, they may not have amicability of thoughts. In the same way, the Moon sign lords of both partners should not be enemies. E.g., Boy's Moon sign is Scorpio, and Girl's Moon sign is Capricorn. Here, Mars and Saturn are enemies, and thus the partners will have a disparity of thoughts. 
 
Similarly, Mercury represents our intelligence and has to be in an excellent position to have good intellect. If Mercury is under affliction, the person lacks analytical, logical, and judgmental power. The Moon has to be strong for a positive mind and attitude in life. The affliction of both these planets can give a restless mind causing dissatisfaction or differences in thoughts. 
 
Astrology indication - Enmity between boy and girl's moon signs, their moon signs being 6/8 from each other. Moon and Mercury are weak or afflicted in the horoscope.
 
In-Laws' interference – The unwanted interference by in-laws (more so in case of boy's family) in the routine matters of the couple. The generation gap, family values, and sometimes, unrealistic expectations from the son-in-law/daughter-in-law make married life bickering for no justified reasons. In India, we have it more in the case of a daughter-in-law, where instead of adapting and adjusting, the boy's parents want the daughter-in-law to follow whatever they want. 
Astrological indication: I am not writing much here as this is a highly sensitive and emotional matter, but Moon (the mother) and Sun(the father) can play a role here. I am witness to many such cases: one of the most typical reasons for marital life issues in a couple's life. 
 
The age difference: A considerable age difference between the partners, can bring bitterness in married life. Here, it's not the age, but other factors which come complimentary with old age, like more seriousness, maturity, lack of fun, diseases, issues due to the biological clock, etc., create problems. The partners may not mutually agree on most things. The younger partner may wish to have fun and be okay with spending for that. On the other hand, the older partner may force to save. The difference in maturity and bodily capabilities may create differences in their married relations. 
 
Astrological indication - If Venus or the seventh lord is in the zodiac sign ruled by Saturn, i.e., Capricorn and Aquarius, Venus conjuncts Saturn, Saturn in the seventh house, seventh lord in Navamsa of Saturn.
 
Some painful situations: Certain astrological placements give painful situations in married life. Due to past sinful karmas, we get certain astrological combinations giving a troublesome married life. These yogas may create separation, divorce, or even death of the life partner. Malefic planets like Sun, Mars, Saturn, Ketu, and Rahu have cruel and harsh tendencies. Saturn may cause delays and obstructions. While other malefic planets may not let love and softness bloom in a marital relationship. Some negativity is always there, which disturbs harmony in relations. 
Jupiter and Venus are the karaka of marriage. If these planets are in fall through weakness or affliction, there can be many challenges in living a blissful married life.  
 
Astrological combinations - Malefic planets (Sun, Mars, Saturn, Ketu, Rahu) are present in the seventh house; the seventh house is afflicted; Jupiter, Venus, and the seventh lord are in inauspicious houses (6th, 8th, 12th house) or are afflicted by the malefic planets.
 
Stress: A person may remain so stressed that he doesn't devote attention to his domestic life. The family members and life partner feel neglected, and the relationship starts tearing apart because of the lack of quality time together. It is essential to understand the physical and emotional needs of each other, and for that, one needs to spend time together. In Astrology, the fourth house denotes domestic happiness. Any disturbance in this fourth house can cause a disturbance in the family environment.  
 
The fifth house shows a person's intellect, and if it's afflicted, it may cause stress to that person. The strength of the fifth lord is imperative, as when intelligence is affected, it is natural for a person to remain under stress. Similarly, the planets of mind and intelligence, i.e., the Moon and Mercury, must be free from affliction for a stable and stress-free mind. 
   
Astrological combinations -
Malefic planets affect the fourth house, Affliction of the Moon and Mercury, the fifth house and its lord are afflicted, the fourth house and its lord are afflicted, and the affliction of the fifth lord can give mental issues and psychological diseases. 
 
Lack of interest: Sometimes, the partners lack interest in each other. It is due to the difference in their thoughts. They may not like even a single thing about each other. Why does this happen? It happens when the Moon signs of the partners are on the 2/12 axis from each other. E.g., the boy's Moon sign is Taurus, while the girl's Moon sign is Aries. In this case, they share 2/12 relations in their moon signs. Here, whoever sign falls at the second will be extracting money from the other. And whose sign is on the 12th from the other will be one losing his money for the partner. In this example, the boy will get money from the girl while the girl has to bear losses and expenses. Such a scenario is not desirable for a happy marriage. 
   
Astrological reasons -
The Moon signs of the boy and girl are in 2/12 axis from each other, the seventh house is afflicted, the seventh lord is in fall, and Venus is afflicted with malefic planets.

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Jealousy: Sometimes, the differences in physique, beauty, intelligence, finances, earnings, mannerism, background, and social status become a reason for jealousy between the couple. One partner may feel belittled in front of the other. This inferiority complex leads to doubts and negative emotions in their marital relations. Whenever we talk about emotions or thinking, the Moon assumes prime importance. Here, a strong Moon will keep a person mentally strong. He will remain contended without comparing his natural traits and resources with his spouse. But, if Moon is weak, negativity will surround the person, and he will ultimately poison his marital relations with his negative thoughts. Mercury, the karaka of intelligence, can hold over negative emotions showing the right path if strong. But if Mercury is also weak, the person fails to check his negative emotions. 

Indications in birth chart - The Moon and Mercury are weak or under the influence of malefic planets.
 
Lack of trust: Trust is the foundation for a successful marriage. Partners may lack mutual trust between them. Here, Moon will play an essential role. The Moon and Mercury should be strong; else, there are chances of having suspicions about the other partner. The seventh house and its lord should be free from any affliction or weakness for a loyal relationship. In many such cases, people spoil the relationship under wrong notions/apprehensions about the partner. I have consoled many couples, restored the feeling of trust in partner and saved many marriages.
 
Astrological indications for lack of trust – Moon and Mercury are weak or afflicted, no compatibility in Moon or ascendant signs, seventh house and seventh lord are under the influence of malefic planets.  
 
Partners try to change each other- Every person is unique, and you can't change him. He is born with a specific planetary placement making him the person he is. If a partner tries to change his partner as per his wishes, the relationship crashes down!  

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The planets Sun and Mars are mighty and dominating planets. A person under the influence of these intense yet powerful planets possesses a sense of pride and dominance in them. They wish their partners to behave and act as per their will. He is always busy finding flaws with his spouse and never improves himself. This dominating attitude proves fatal to a loving relationship.    

Astrological reasons - Moon is present in the signs of Aries, Leo, or Scorpio, and Mars or Sun is present in the first house of the horoscope.  
Lack of communication - Communication is the key to a healthy relationship. There shouldn't be a communication gap between the partners; else, misunderstandings and suspicions crop up. It is not that the partners themselves stay away from effective communication, but their planets make them do so. While matching compatibility, we can examine the level of communication between the partners. The second house is the house of speech in a horoscope. Malefic planets like Mars in the second house result in harshness and abusive language.
 
Similarly, other malefic planets will cause obstructions in communication as per their natural significations. The affliction of the second house and its lord show problems in communication. Mercury is a karaka planet of speech. If Mercury is afflicted or weak in the birth chart, the person has poor communication skills.   
 
Indications in the birth chart -
The second house and its lord are weak or afflicted, and Mercury is weak or afflicted with malefic planets.
Paying no attention or show no care for each other: Some couples are not bothered about each other. It makes no difference to them whether their partner is at ease or in difficulty. A person is least bothered about his partner when his ascendant and the seventh lord are in the 2-12 or 6-8 axis. The ascendant or the Moon signs are in the 2-12 or 6-8 axis. Or if their Moon signs are enemies, partners don't care for each other.
Indications in birth chart - The moon signs or the ascents are enemies, or in 2-12 or 6-8 relations, the Lagna and seventh lord are in 6-8 or 2-12 relationship.   
Financial problems: Money is one of the main issues to create disturbances in married life. If the husband doesn't earn enough to support the family's basic needs, there can be problems in married relations. Sometimes, the extravagance of either of the partners may create financial problems. Reason can be anything, but lack of money creates differences in marital relations. The second house is the house of savings and wealth for a person. The eleventh house shows financial gains. The karaka of wealth is Jupiter, whereas the Moon and Venus show liquid money. A weak or debilitated Jupiter doesn't allow a person to amass wealth. Moon also, if weak or afflicted, causes severe scarcity of money. 
 
Astrological combinations - The second house, second lord, eleventh house, and eleventh lord are weak or afflicted, Jupiter and Moon are either weak or afflicted.
 
Partners don't praise each other: A sweet, flattering now and then helps a relationship grow stronger. When partners praise each other for their daily routine tasks, a sense of mutual affection and confidence in a person remains. It is human nature that we tend to perform better when our efforts are duly recognized. Lack of praise or ignorance of the best of the efforts creates dullness and frustration in married relations. In Astrology, if the Moon and ascendant signs of the partners are inimical to each other, partners become ignorant and don't praise each other. 
Your horoscope indicates – If the ascendant or Moon signs are inimical, and both partners' ascendant or Moon signs fall at 6-8 or 2-12 axis from each other.   
 
Selfish behavior: A selfish life partner is the biggest turn-off. Marriage is a relationship where you get love and respect once you give the same to your partner. If a selfish motive drives one partner, there can never be a mutual contribution in a relationship, making it a complete failure. Planets, with their significations and placements, make a person selfish, which is visible in one's horoscope. Jupiter and Sun are the planets that give a person noble behavior, and their affliction makes a person self-centered. Mercury and Moon should be strong for a stable and noble mindset.
How does horoscopes indicate this - Jupiter and Sun are weak, Moon and Mercury are weak.   
 
Anger: Living with a highly aggressive life partner is almost impossible. We can see aggression and other negative emotions in one's birth chart. Mars, Sun, and Ketu give a hot temper to a person. Their influence on the speech or mind can make a person aggressive. However, the placement of planets in the fire signs is also important.
 
Astrological combinations to show anger- Moon and Mercury are in the zodiac signs of Aries, Leo, or Scorpio, Ketu/Sun/Mars in the first house or their influence at the first house, the ascendant lord is with Ketu/Mars or Sun   
 
Telling lies: A marital relationship falls for lies and fake promises. The factor of trust shakes with constant lies, resulting in losing respect in the partner's eyes. Rahu makes a person tell lies. Rahu is an illusion and deceit; when it affects the second house of speech or Mercury (karaka of speech), the person tells lies. One of the main reasons to create mistrust first and then sour relationships. 
 
Lying habits seen from birth chart - Rahu in the second house, conjunction of the second lord and Rahu, conjunction of Mercury and Rahu, an affliction of the second house and Mercury
 
Inability to express: Marriages may fail due to lack of expression. A partner may fail to express himself or his feelings for the other partners. In such cases, misunderstanding may occur in the relationship. Mercury is the planet of expression, and the second house signifies speech. When these both are under afflictions, there may be a problem of lack of expression.  
 
Astrological combinations - Mercury is weak or afflicted, second house and its lord are afflicted.
 
Unrealistic expectations: There are cases when a partner keeps unrealistic expectations from the life partner. The influence of Rahu makes the person live in an illusionary world. The person fails to see reality and has many fantasies in his mind. He imposes them upon his partner in terms of unrealistic expectations. This applies to the other family members also who hold unrealistic expectations from their son/daughter-in-law. The malefic influence on the Moon and Rahu causes many fantasies never to meet!  
   
Astrological combinations: Rahu in the first house, Rahu with the ascendant lord, Moon in Aries, Leo or Scorpio, conjunction of Moon and Rahu
 
Lack of privacy: Marriage is a relationship where the partners should maintain privacy in sexual and other matters. The harmful influence of planets may cause a partner to speak almost everything about their personal life. Such a habit is detrimental to a happy relationship. The affliction of the Moon and Mercury makes the person lose the sense of what to reveal and hide. The seventh house and its lord should be strong for a secure and loyal marital relationship. The karaka of romance and love, i.e., Venus should be strong for a trustworthy and cozy relationship.  
 
Astrology yoga for lack of privacy- Mercury, Venus, and Moon are weak or afflicted, and the affliction of the seventh house and its lord removes privacy in the relationship.
 
 Arguments: The boy and girl may argue and quarrel at the smallest of matters for disharmony in their Moon signs. They can never make a unanimous decision if their minds and thoughts differ. These differences in outlook give birth to arguments and fights. The effect of hot malefic planets like the Sun, Mars, and Ketu creates argumentative situations in marriage. 
 
Astrological indications for an argumentative partner - The Moon signs or ascendant are in 6-8 axis from each other, Mercury is afflicted in both the charts, Mars/Sun/Ketu in the seventh house
  
Dishonesty: One of the major reasons for a marriage to break is dishonesty by either of the partners. While checking marriage compatibility, an astrologer may foresee which partner can cheat the other. The weakness of the Sun and Jupiter harms a person's nobleness and genuineness. Jupiter shows our sanskaras or values, while the Sun signifies our soul. We tend to become dishonest when our values and soul go deep down. It is essential to match kundli to know the possibility of cheating or dishonesty by the partner. Here, many times, partners under a wrong notions/misapprehensions start doubting the opposite partner which can spoil any marital bliss. I have ridiculed such doubts in many cases and am happy the couple are enjoying the married life.  
 
Indications to cheat in birth chart- Mercury and the Moon are weak or afflicted, ascendant/Sun and Jupiter are weak or afflicted. 
 
These were the reasons for married life issues which I could pen down based on my experience of handling such matters for over two decades. There could be similar reasons more. But let me tell you, all such reasons mentioned above or implied, can be seen from a birth chart. If a person can spend a few minutes with a good astrologer, you can foresee the possibility of all such reasons through a comprehensive compatibility check. This check is totally different than simple stereotype Gun matching or Ashtakoot Milan. Does it help to avoid such reasons surfacing in your married life? Yes: it does, and how I am explaining now. 
 
Remedies for married life issues

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Remedies/solutions for married life issues rest with the partners and not doing materialistic remedies. Marriage between two partners is a bond of a highly personalized relationship.
 
So, what is the best remedy for marital discord?

1. If there is a mismatch in their compatibility, it can be seen from their birth charts. 
2. If either of the partners is likely to cheat, it can be seen from the birth chart.
3. If there are misconceptions/wrong notions about your partner, it can be seen from the birth chart.
 
The choice is clear and is your liberty: to examine all these factors BEFORE MARRIAGE or deal with them when such issues surface in your life. Today, you can't judge the other person merely by meeting or talking to him. Believe it or not, we all are under the influence of mighty Rahu, who doesn't let us see reality beyond the illusions. 

One can read how to avoid the possibility of such issues not surfacing itself at all if the charts were matched before tying the knot. Read on what is comprehensive horoscope matching . If this was done, the possibility of all such would have been foreseen. Here, I am emphasizing comprehensive compatibility matching and not merely Ashtakoot or Manglik Milan but comprehensive horoscopes matching.  

But what to do if you missed it and are now facing such issues? 

Many Pundits/even astrologers suggest different Pooja, hefty rituals, and even Vashikaran tactics. It can be their independent beliefs and methods. But I suggest the best remedy for married life issues is Post-marriage counselling . You read on the given link, and you will understand how it works and can really help to find the reasons for marital issues and then work as the best solutions for married life issues. 
 
Married life issues emerge from incompatibility between partners, an issue of relationship, and can be resolved only by introspecting into the reasons and improving the relationship. Nothing else can help you. For specific issues, one can connect with my office at +91 9278555588/9278665588. 

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