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Tuesday, Dec 07, 2021
Outlook.com
Secret Diary of Special Public Prosecutor

Ujjwal (Biriyani) Nikam

The biriyani episode was a brilliant piece of imagination which I can use to start a literary career, film scripts, talk shows and so on.

Ujjwal (Biriyani) Nikam
Illustration by Saahil
Ujjwal (Biriyani) Nikam
outlookindia.com
-0001-11-30T00:00:00+05:53

Honest, how I wish the founder of Amar Chitra Katha, Anant (‘Uncle’) Pai, were alive today. He would have made an illustrated story of the Amar Biriyani and it would have sold like hot cakes, if not hot biriyani! He would have invented a special kamadhenu to produce endless quantities of biriyani to strengthen the hands of the devas. All this was possible with a bit of imagination from the devas. It would have spiced up the Ajmal Kasab case which was being submerged and almost hijacked in an emotional wave launched by the do-gooders, human rights busybodies and wishy-washy weepies. I thought long and hard and the ‘mutton biriyani scenario’ took shape. Here was a guy who, after slaughtering dozens of people, was longing for mutton biriyani and the state of India was providing it! Wow!

The state government has asked for a clarification on the biriyani episode. How was it demanded, who cooked and served it to Kasab? Or was it all bunkum? I will be addressing the cabinet, senior bureaucrats, police personnel and later the media to dispel any misgivings. You see, the biriyani bomb diverted attention from the pro-Kasab tear-jerkers. Frankly, I never thought that people would be so gullible to believe the story. Revenue minister Eknath Khadse even urged the CM to probe my biriyani remarks. Why?  In fact, my remarks  came at the right time and the focus on mutton biriyani will divert public attention from the absence of beef and the problems faced by the people of Mumbai. In a way, it may even help the government to get over this controversy.

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