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Tuesday, Oct 26, 2021
Outlook.com

This Battle Is Lost

Women’s sexuality and internet porn are boldly recast by a thorough debunking of old norms

This Battle Is Lost
This Battle Is Lost
outlookindia.com
2018-07-21T10:41:03+05:30

Rich in forbidden content, Cyber Sexy tracks the search for satiating desire from those mythical days in the elusive garden to the brave new world of virtual flesh. Howsoever ind­ividuals may shun it publicly for being politically and morally incorrect, desire runs deep within each one of us. If we were to look within ourselves without shame, we would be faced with variations of the same desires that we condemn others for.      Taking readers on a cyber tour of online pleasure, the author provides a nuanced understanding on why our foregone conclusions on sex, identity, and desire are gender-biased and flawed. Why is it that sexual desire, and not sexual pleasure, a moral problem? Why is there an undue emphasis on male desire for seeking sexual pleasure? Why does society make women feel ashamed of expressing their desires, with a default assumption that porn is worse for women?

Despite ancient sculptures and med­ieval paintings bearing testimony to desire being eternal to humans, reality manifests itself between sheets or beh­ind closets. The colonial idea that anything related to sex is immoral persists under regressive laws, making it obligatory for the state to protect women from its purported impact, both moral and physical.

The book blows the lid off such ass­umptions. Far from what the laws state and what the state feels, Indian women have come of age in exploring their sexuality and have agency and autonomy to explore their hidden desires. They are as adventurous as their counterparts, some 30 per cent of all visitors on the porn websites were women in 2017.

Cyber Sexy is pregnant with hitherto unnoticed categories of desire. Not that these desires did not exist; the internet only enabled people who des­ired differently to feel a little less alone by giving shape and...

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