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Cops across the country have enforced the lockdown with the lathi. Here’s an example from Calcutta.

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People dashed to markets even before the PM finished his lockdown address. But something was missing from the Indian shopping list. Toilet paper. We don’t need them. We have the ‘shooter’, sprinkler, mugga, lota, or plastic cola bottle. That’s not the case in the West. When Europe and America went into a shell to stop the coronavirus from spreading, people emptied out entire shelves of toilet paper. No wonder, the pandemic has come to be known as the Great Toilet Paper Crisis. But how much do you really need? At www.blitzrechner.de/toilettenpapier, curious users can work out how long their stockpile will last. The website says: “For a ‘number one’, one or two sheets should suffice.” We say, use a lota; or a bidet at least.

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Love Lock

Who knew Kanye West’s 2008 song Love Lockdown would come prophetic in India 2020? But in these dire times, everything is possible—evident from the surge in sale of condoms and pills. Ardent lovers are stocking up on vital personal protection equipment. But those envisioning a bacchanalian lockdown locked in their lover’s arms, beware! In neighbouring China, coronavirus propelled casualty figures, and divorce rates. Time to pay heed to the Bollywood song, lockdown kiya to nibhana…

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