April 04, 2020
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In The Deepest Pickle

Grandma should have branded pickles as fat-burning, given them an exotic name, and charge you millions

In The Deepest Pickle
Illustration by Sorit
In The Deepest Pickle

We are happy to fuss over our organic/ natural/ vegan ways but look down on the poor little pickle. Pickles, after all, can’t possibly have any health benefits with all the oils and salt. And if your grandmother fussed over it, and made a loud noise about not touching that ceramic bottle with wet hands, tied up the neck with a malmal cloth and stored it in a special corner of the kitchen, it’s a nuisance, not a fat-burning agent. And that it tastes good and is an accessible homegrown wisdom must surely make it fattening.

Cut to this morning. You have strained on the pot and your stomach doesn’t feel as light as it should. A big reason for your digestive troubles is that stress and a fast-paced lifestyle could have destroyed the bacteria in your GI tract. This live bacteria is often called the ‘good bacteria’ and its health benefits range from great skin, smooth stools, regular BP and lowered blood sugars.

Your grandmom knows that vegetables and fruits can be cultured or treated using a mixture of sugar, oil, salt, mustard, cumin, etc to prepare the right strain and strength of the probiotic bacteria. She knows that it must be stored in the right environment to prevent humidity leading to the oxidation and destruction of this bacterial culture. She also knows that if it is consumed in small doses, as part of a wholesome meal, it will reach the gut alive without being destroyed by the stomach acids.

The only thing she doesn’t know is that if she wants you to eat it, she should brand it fat-burning, give it an exotic name and charge you millions for it. By the way, the process she is using is called lacto fermentation by ‘research’.

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