February 22, 2020
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How To Have Fun For Free

Have a ball on a shoestring budget

How To Have Fun For Free
Photo-imaging by Jayachandran
How To Have Fun For Free
  • Next time you visit a beach, write a note and put it in a bottle. Give it to a friendly fisherman and ask him to throw it overboard as far out to sea as he can. Who knows who'll answer? Who knows what friends you could make?

  • Intermittently practice making fax and modem noises in the office.

  • Wear a good suit, offer to play the cymbals in a wedding band, and then sneak in and eat with the groom's party.

  • Walk down to the oldest graveyard in your city and check out the headstones to see how many of the dear departed colonials have roads named after them in your city.

  • Visit the wholesale market early in the morning and watch the trucks offload mountains of vegetables, fruits, flowers.... It's a fabulous show for all the five senses.

  • Spend the day at any small-town railway station reading old magazines and watching dogs, people, trains, life. From morning till whenever.

  • Get hold of someone else's cellphone, and SMS "I need a hug" to his entire address book.

  • Brake at the red light, put on the right turn indicator at the last moment, thus blocking a full line of cars behind you...and then scoot off straight just as the light changes.

  • Liven up those boring train journeys. Start a conversation with the man sitting opposite you. Does he want to play an amusing game? If he agrees, ask him to choose a number. When he tells you the number he has chosen (say 89), choose a larger number (say 90) and claim that you've won the game.

  • Greet a stranger enthusiastically on the road and pretend to be his long-lost friend. Shake your head with a disappointed smile every time he says things like: "OK, we were in college together, right?" or "Were you in Bombay when I was working there?" Wait till he becomes satisfyingly disoriented, then pat him on the back, wink, say: "So you couldn't remember me at all?" and move on, leaving him feeling hopelessly guilty.

  • When the phone rings, pick it up and pretend to be an answering machine. If you can identify the voice at the other end, customise the message. Especially if you are the sort being chased by those irate creditors.

  • Come to a sudden halt on a crowded sidewalk, look up, point your fingers at the sky and start muttering some nonsense. Very soon, there'll be a crowd of 100 around you trying to figure out what's going on above!! Walk away quietly once there are enough people around you.

  • Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers, then CC them to your boss.

  • Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

  • If all else fails, fall back on the ol' faithful. Catch a rerun of one of those Eastmancolor movies featuring Ajit; complete with elaborate godown headquarters, molls called Mona Darrling, sidekicks named Raabert, and tanks of liquid aaxygen to dunk Inspector Vijay in, where the aaxygen won't let Vijay die, and the liquid part won't let him live.
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