Making A Difference

Good Lord Vs Good Lords

If the British don't care for you as a common Asian, try lordship. It can be bought for the price of a second-hand car, and might take you much further. Or it might set you back. Sanjay Suri and Prashant Panjiar met four Lords from the subcontinent i

Advertisement

Good Lord Vs Good Lords
info_icon

It took Ajit Singh Sangha two minutes to become a Lord. Theauction of lordships began at 2.50 pm at the stately Stationers Hall by the Thames,sparkling this day under rare sunsh-ine. The light stole through bstained glass windowsinto a hall lined with medieval coats of arms. The auctioneers had provided more than ataste of feudal England. Under this medieval spell sat aspiring lords, among them threeJapanese gentlemen, a couple of Jamaicans and some bore d English commoners. Two men hadtaken the front row— both of them Punjabis.

Sangha was the more determined of the two. An auctioneer inwaistcoat and bow tie was preparing to auction the first title— the Lordship of WaterEaton in Buckinghamshire. Sangha’s hand showing many rings and much determinationwent up and stayed up. The bids began at £2,000 but at £6,750 the other hands fell away.At 2.52 pm Ajit Singh Sangha became Lord Sangha, Lord of Water Eaton. Unknown to her atthat moment, his wife became Lady Surinder Pal Kaur, Lady of Water Eaton.

Advertisement

Why Water Eaton? "Why not?" Lord Sangha saidafter the auction. "Why to wait?" He had had a go at a second title, thought hehad it, but the Manorial Society of Great Britain which was auctioning the title decidedhe hadn’t. The lordship mattered, not Water Eaton. Ajit Singh could have become Lordof Tilbrook or Tatworth or Thoby Priory or Smewnes Grange, it didn’t matter. SomeLords aren’t choosy.

"Jesus," said a Dutch TV journalist covering theauction. "In this country they sell everything." The British government, everkind to tradition, has exempted sale of lordships from the usual 17.5 per cent value addedtax. In a concession to modern times you can buy lordship with Visa or MasterCard.

Advertisement

Water Eaton was assessed before the Norman conquest at 10hides. The Domesday Book compiled 20 years later in 1086 records 13,418 of theselordships of the manor. Plenty more where Water Eaton came from. The history of WaterEaton that Lord Sangha had folded into his briefcase is a varied one. But little did thoseWilliams and Walters down the centuries know that their title would pass one day to aSangha from Zila Jalandhar.

Lord Sangha was not content merely to transfer to thistraditton. He was in the mood for uprooting his own family tree, but wasn’t gettingfar. If you grew up in Jandoosingha, five miles from Jalandhar, as Sangha did, you knewyour caste and sub-caste. Now he wants more of his own. "I will go to Hardwar andask, that is the best way." Sangha has been heading for the unique for some time now.The lordship is only the latest along the path. He came to England in the 1960s as AjitSingh without the Sangha, he told the clerk. "But someone once deposited £10 into myaccount by mistake," he said. That’s when he dug back and added Sangha to avoidconfusion. The clerk was sympathetic. "You see that’s why we have these coats ofarms, so you can tell one John Smith from another John Smith."

Not all of this is a deep search for identity. "I wantstatus," Lord Sangha said, with the confidence already of the famous. "Why toput money into the bank on 5 per cent interest? Why not to become Lord? In bank £100,000does not add to my status. Here I spend a few thousand and I become Lo rd." Why didyou want two lordships, the Dutch journalist asked. "Because if I have two I can giveone to you," Lord Sangha replied.

"But don’t forget I am still the sameperson," Lord Sangha said with a modesty so becoming in people who have reason not tobe modest. But are n ’t you waiting to tell your family that you are now diff e rent,we asked. "One, I will just send them letters with a sticker on the envelope and withmy coat of arms printed on my letterhead. They will come to know on their own, Idon’t want to brag."

Advertisement

Lord Sangha celebrated his lordship treating himself to anew Rolls Royce and us to tea. "You see, when my coat of arms is ready, I want toshow it properly on a Rolls Royce, not on one of my Mercedes. The chestnut coloured Rollsgoes nicely with my house."

The Lord of Water Eaton nee Jandoosingha shows ushis swimming pool. A machine sets off waves he battles by way of exercise until he decidesto switch them off. Back in the house, tea is of course more than tea. Lady Surinder PalKaur has quite a spread. Back in 1343, the Lord of Water Eaton held a feast at "atable with trestles, linen and all vessels from which the King was served that day".Prashant and I were no kings but our samosa and gajar ka halwa must be morethan a match for dinner the other night in 1343.

Advertisement

Sangha spent the last 20 years working at a post office,but made his money, he said, on property, insurance, even suitcases. But England asks formore. "I want integration with the top society." It has begun. The post officewhere he worked for 20 years has now invited him to become a member of its board— theBritish always were suckers for titles. "Title makes you noticed," said the Lord .

HIS Lordship Sardar Iqbal Singh of Butley was not in hisLittle Castle in Scotland that Sunday morning. He was away naming his island in theAtlantic after that Scotland da poet Robert Burns. If naming an island after Burnswon’t open a door or two in Scotland, nothing will. The Ferozepur-born English Lordreceived us in the afternoon. Little Castle isn’t a castle in that feuding feudalway. It’s really a Victorian mansion built in Elizabethan style.

Advertisement

Lord Iqbal Singh bought the house built with the stamp ofEngland’s two most famous queens and named it little Castle. A 10,000 sq ft house setin eight acres of garden and with two turrets must qualify. If Iqbal Singh can callhimself a Lord, he can call his house a castle. It goes. Lord Iqbal Singh ushered us intowhat he called the Great Hall and began with one of those £3-to-whatever success storiesthat immigrants love to tell. His money came from property in London. But when did he buyhis lordship? Rude question. "Why to say buy, why not to say acquire?" he asked.He almost became Lord through property but the sale fell through. "But my friends hadstarted to call me Lord Singh." He spoke to his solicitor. The lordship happened.Some stories should be left sweetly vague.

High tea came on a silver trolley wheeled in by theunsmiling Lady Gertrude Singh, his Swiss wife. With the tea she brought silence. Thelordship, the Swiss lady, the silver trolley, the porcelain, the castle. So many scratcheson those doors of acceptance.

The invitation from the Burns Federation was only the mostrecent. Lord Iqbal Singh knows little about Burns, and even allows that "he may havehad his bad points". But he has to see the atmosphere today. The renaming of hisisland had brought "invitations where they make you sit properly at the right table,and for us people in this society that means something."

Advertisement

Lord Iqbal Singh led us on a tour of his Little Castle withthe ease of a guide. In the library he pointed to a picture with Prince Charles andPrincess Diana. He didn’t say when and where. "They did not know me before thetitle," he said. "You have to create little big situation." His brusheswith lesser luminaries seemed more real. "I was the mayor’s guest. I visited thehospital, I donated money to Red Cross. So naturally they had to look after me. Now, I amtrying to get into more things." Success enough so far for a biography. "I amlooking for someone who can write a book on me. It should be priced £5; no, £4.99."He is also looking for a speech writer. "If you talk effectively, you make differentimpression in this society."

Advertisement

The library has Lord Iqbal Singh’s coat of arms thatthe Manorial Society requires of its lordly members. The green in the coat of arms is forlanded gentry. The coat of a rms includes the Sikh Khanda with the slogan Akal Sahai(WithGod’s help), a Swiss flag for his wife, a circle of stars for Europe. And a lionbecause Singh means lion. The coat of arms was designed for him by Sir Colin Cole. And nowhe awaits a unique Scottish Tartan design by the Ta rtan Society of Scotland. "Thatwill be my own clan."

The dining hall is a deeply purple affair, from the purplecarpet to purple wallpaper. The curtains are in red and black. A piano sits by the window.Lady Gertude plays for us a moment. Lord Iqbal Singh poses attentively. The wall isadorned with plump nudes of past centuries, an unfailing link with European tradition.Everything just right. "We wouldn’t let him do otherwise," Lady GertudeSingh said a little coldly. It was all she said.

Advertisement

The remaining tour took us over a grand staircase to alanding displaying a cabinet that belonged to Lord Mountbatten. From there to wife’slibrary, a bathroom with chairs covered with fur, and even a ballroom. "These peoplehave their dances, so I let them come here and dance." A walk through the kitchen. Doyou eat paranthas? "O no no no no no."

And Butley that he is Lord of? That is in Suffolk inEngland. "I went there a few times," he said. "But every time there is achurch roof leaking somewhere or a school needs repair. Once you go youhave to keepit up, and I can’t pay £400-500 every time."

Advertisement

THE other Punjabi sat quietly while Dutch cameras andIndian attention focused on the just lordified Ajit Singh Sangha. He turned out to be aman of fewer words but more than a few titles. Titles can drive you crazy, or you mighthave to be crazy to be driven to titles.

So you are here to buy a lordship?

No.

Just come to watch the auction?

No.

But you are interested in these lordship auctions?

I am already a Lord.

Oh.

I am also a knight.

Oh.

(He handed out a visiting card. It said: "Lord KhalidSharif of Camster". The smaller print read: "Ambassador, InternationalParliament Safety and Peace/Senator, Council of States for Protection of Life/Member,Academy Maison Internationale des Intellectuals". Lord Khalid Sharif followed up withanother card. This read: "Dr Khalid Sharif, Knight. Grandprior TemplarOrder/Chancellor Lofsensic Urrinius Order".)

Advertisement

I have more than a dozen titles.

Are you here to buy another?

Why buy? They gave them to me.

Who did?

People who look at Who’s Who books.

They read about you and gave you titles?

Yes.

Which Who’s Who books are you in?

So many.

But what have you done to be written about?

So many things.

Like what?

I am on social security appeals tribunals, I work with therates (local taxes) courts, I am on the board of visitors for Wandsworth prison, member ofparole boards, of arbitration panels, I do lunch clubs for the elderly so they cansocialise among themselves.

Advertisement

So who read about you in Who’s Who?

So many people.

Then what did they do?

They said: ‘We read about your titles in Who’sWho. Don’t buy. We will give you for free. Just accept them.’ So I accepted. Iam still receiving. I am also baron . Where are you baron of?

I cannot remember. I will have to look in my briefcase. Allthese titles, you know. (The brief-case produced the document.) I am Baron of Royal Orderof the Bohemian Crown.

Are you the baron of Bohemia?

Yes.

Where is Bohemia?

It is a country in Europe.

Do you have a card for that?

Advertisement

WHEN Abdul Latif, owner of Rupali restaurant inNewcastle-upon- Tyne, bought his lordship for £6,000 in 1994, the local newspapers namedhim Lord of Curry Castle. Lord Latif liked that, he put it on his business card. Below hispager number he wrote the other temptation: "The Lord of Harpole will receive yourmessage." New boards came up at his restaurant in Bigg Market: "Lord of Harpolewelcomes you, personal attention from the Lord of Harpole." Of the 10,000 Indianrestaurants in Britain, this is the only one where a Lord will serve you.

It worked for some time. "A lot of people came to sayhello to the Lord," the Lord said. "And when they came, they ordered." Butnow business is down. Familiarity can breed contempt even for Lords. The deep red carpetand dark yellow walls don’t see as many customers as they used to. But the lordshipis not for business alone, it continues to work for him in other ways.

Advertisement

"People look at me differently now," he says."I think if you are a Lord it is quite important for British society." But aBangladeshi Lord? "Yes, we are not that popular here." He adds with hope,"Yet." But a Bangladeshi Lord is a good deal better than an English one."They have such a bad reputation, why should I be like them?"

Abdul Latif arrived in Britain from Sylhet in 1969, withlittle money and many goals. Lordship was one. Next came Curry Hell, a dish pre p a redunder the Lord’s instructions. It you can finish it, you don’t pay for it. LordLatif’s description of Curry Hell is simple and sufficient: "I put a lot ofchillies into it. It is very, very hot." The restaurant walls are lined with picturesof the Lord mopping the sweat off Curry Hell customers. Maybe one in 100 finish it, theLord says. But Curry Hell makes sure he gets talked about; one newspaper named him theHottest Lord in Newcastle.

Advertisement

For Lord Latif his lordship isn’t a joke. He getsinvitations now to weddings, birthdays, parties, when people open shops, when they movehouse. More by the British than Bangladeshis. "What do Bangladeshis here know aboutthe systems of this country? A week ago I was invited to the opening of a hotel. They liketo say they had visit from the Lord of Harpole. They said it does not matter whether theLord eats chappatis or not."

The Lord is well-known but not popular. Lord Latif joinedthe Liberal Democrats in 1988 when he was just Abdul Latif. When he became Lord Latif,party leader Paddy Ashdown sent a letter of congratulations. "Before I became a Lord,he used to say, ‘hello, my friend.’ Then I said you must say, ‘hello, yourlordship’. But he said, ‘No, I will still say, hello, my friend. ’"

Advertisement

Lord Latif’s wife Khannum loves her ladyship, he says.And so, he insists, does his 16-year-old son Abdul Momin, even if at school they call himLord-in-waiting. But the Lord is far short of the respect he deserves. A westernphotographer recently spent three hours taking pictures, and never once said thank you,unlike the ever polite Prashant Panjiar. That inspired Prashant to award himself a titleof his own— the Lord of Manners.

Tags

    Advertisement

    Advertisement

    Advertisement

    Advertisement

    Advertisement

    Advertisement