April 03, 2020
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Bull's Eye

In our neighbourhood the other day a girl wearing a skirt was accosted by a boy. He made lewd remarks to make her cry. The girl sobbed uncontrollably. ...

Bull's Eye
outlookindia.com
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In our neighbourhood the other day a girl wearing a skirt was accosted by a boy. He made lewd remarks to make her cry. The girl sobbed uncontrollably. The boy laughed mockingly. A policeman standing nearby scratched his head helplessly.

Now the entire neighbourhood is alarmed over what will happen. Delhi's police commissioner V.N. Singh will explain that the policeman didn't intervene because he had never faced this situation before. Home ministry's special secretary Nikhil Kumar will say that round-the-clock arrangements will be made to protect girls wearing skirts. Home minister L.K. Advani will announce a special team headed by himself to protect girls in skirts all over the country.

The Vishwa Hindu Parishad will say that skirts are foreign garments stitched mostly by pro-ISI tailors determined to corrupt Hindu youth. BJP spokesman K.L. Sharma will say that while the lewd remarks by the boy were deplorable we should also hear the other side of the story. After all the girl's skirt was provocative.

The Bajrang Dal will say that watching girls is the religion of boys. The girl by wearing a skirt was hurting the boy's deepest religious sentiments. K.R. Malkani will correct the Bajrang Dal to point out that watching girls is not for boys a religion but a way of life.

The Shiv Sena will dig up the road so that girls wearing skirts may not walk that way. Bal Thackeray will congratulate his patriotic sainiks for digging up the road to foil a world-wide ISI-CIA conspiracy to destroy India.

Congress spokesperson Girija Vyas will say that it is a lie to claim that Sonia Gandhi ever wore a skirt but what is the harm in wearing a skirt?

Editor C.R. Irani will write a caveat in his newspaper: If the prime minister were only to read the Supreme Court judgement in the Miss Mini Skirt vs. Miss Salwar Kameez case (circa 1990, coram Verma, Barucha and Sen) he would know how to act. But the PM is too busy covering up the Bofors case. We can only weep for you prime minister! Cry, cry my beloved country?

The prime minister will pause, flutter his eyes, and tell TV cameras: We need a national debate on whether skirts should be worn or not?

Meanwhile, the girl will continue to sob. The boy will continue to laugh. The policeman will continue to scratch his head?

Stop pressing so hard, sir,
Give us time to think,
To play the right card,
sir,And not let government sink!

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