People are horrified by the country's naval crisis. Nobody knows how to tackle it.
Nobody knows how to tackle it because nobody knows what it is. All that people were told
was that the Ministry of Defence was being converted into the Ministry of Defiance.
The admiral's wife made a policy statement. How dare they sack her husband? How dare they allow the navy to be controlled by arms peddlers and communalists? The vice admiral's wife retorted with her own policy statement. How dare they try to supersede her husband? Didn't they know the rules and conventions governing navy promotions?
Because the truth involves us all, the newspaper pursuing the journalism of courage snarled in its editorial that the prime minister should stop hiding behind innuendo and reveal to the nation the whole truth about this crisis. The prime minister remained helpless. Had the prime minister a wife she would surely have given the newspaper a fitting reply!
Some bureaucrats asked how dare the admiral reach the Pakistanis directly to give them a message without informing the Ministry of Defence? The admiral's defenders said that perhaps the Ministry of Defence was not approached because it was considered to be a bigger enemy than Pakistan.
The defence minister complained that the admiral did not discuss naval problems with him but discussed them with his wife. The admiral's defenders said that the admiral's wife was accessible to him but thanks to the defence secretary the defence minister was not.
The defence minister said that it was absolute nonsense to suggest that the Akali party took any interest in the appointment of the vice admiral.
Akali MPs said, Jo bole so nihal...!
Some people asked what was wrong with the wives of the admiral and the vice admiral running the navy through remote control if Laloo Yadav could run his wife's government by remote control. Rabri supporters warned that if anybody suggested that Rabri was not her own boss she would break that person's legs along with the legs of Governor S.S. Bhandari.
Opposition leaders and retired army generals wrung their hands in despair and said for God's sake think about what this crisis could do to the navy's morale!
A naval rating put down his beer, belched, and said that as long as Bollywood dancers continued to display their belly-buttons they would be no navel crisis...
Que sera, sera,
Whatever will be will be,
Defence files aren't ours to see,
Que sera, sera!