No one, not even those in Mayawatiji’s inner circle, know of my existence. An ex-IITian, I was popularly known as Bob (I won’t tell you whether I graduated from Kharagpur or Kanpur since that’d be giving the game away). Anyway, suffice it to say I’m committed to Behenji and the BSP. Which is why I hang around in various disguises at Mayawati’s official residence, 4A Kalidas Marg, Lucknow. I usually pass myself off as one of the malis. Which, incidentally, had a few of my close friends in splits. “Imagine,” one of them said last year when we had our annual chai at a Hazratganj cafe, “Bob tending the garden! Isn’t it a major slide from all that hi-tech?” Everyone burst out laughing and someone instantly christened me Bob Mali (though I hate reggae, having a soft corner for Himesh Reshammiya’s nasal cadences, even preferring his songs to convince those errant rosebuds to embrace Ambdekar’s philosophy).
But that’s beside the point. What I wish to share with you are my suggestions to Behenji in the context of the F1 tamasha that soon kicks off at the Budh International Circuit outside Delhi. Well, I must admit that much of what I communicated to her was inspired by the famous English motorsport commentator, Murray Walker, who noted that “F1 is (almost) IF written backwards.” So here I go exploring how Mayawatiji and her government could exploit F1—that’s IF they think laterally: