March 30, 2020
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Amit Shah

According to blabbermouth Bedi, she lost because her Krishna Nagar constituency lacked clean parks!

Amit Shah
Illustration by Saahil
Amit Shah

This diary page was almost not written. NaMo bhai wanted to write it because we had been together in so many things and he felt we had swum together, so we should also sink together after the Delhi fiasco. We were arguing on this but were interrupted by Baba Ramdev and Sadhvi Niranjan Jyoti, famous for her “haramzaadon” remark, who began an argument on how and why we held the wedding reception of my son at the YMCA Club Ahmedabad where I am writing this from. Weren’t there any clubs in NaMo’s Gujarat with a more patriotic name? Then came the telephone call from (who else) Kiran Bedi, who has the habit of interfering in everything. She wanted to do the secret diary. That woman! I just don’t know how I and NaMoji asked her to contest the Delhi assembly polls! Well, we live and learn!

So many twists and turns, the jollity of son Jay’s wedding was ruined. Deliberately or otherwise, some of the guests waved placards with the figure ‘3’ emblazoned on it. For us in the BJP, ‘3’ has become an inauspicious number forever. As boys in the wedding hall began to puncture the huge, decorative balloons, I asked them to stop. The party’s huge balloon had been well and truly punctured in Delhi! The BJP giants who had landed from Delhi talked in hushed tones and our New Delhi stalwarts would not raise their eyes. Yet I heard someone whistling, “Jo hoga woh hona hi tha.” It was Delhi BJP leader Dr Harshvardhan who had won the Kiran Bedi seat for us by a margin of nearly 40,000 votes in the last poll. Ramdev finally distributed some of his famous ‘churans’ and that lightened the mood a bit.

Yes, I will take a long time to recover from the ‘Delhi belly’ (everytime that Bedi woman opens her mouth I get fresh attacks). She has been telling the media, “I have not lost. Let the BJP introspect. They will assess themselves.” According to the blabbermouth, she lost because her Krishna Nagar constituency lacked clean parks! Will the Delhi fiasco affect my relations with BJP regional leaders, the one who usually tremble when I meet them? I am told they used to frighten their kids saying, “Chup, radvanu bandh kar. Amitbhai aavi jase! (Hush, stop crying. Amitbhai will come)” and it used to work like magic. I would hate to be known as “thran seatwalo Shah (3-seat Shah)” to distinguish me from the numerous other Shahs in Gujarat.

I am also worried how this will affect my friendship with NaMo bhai. And what if the regional party chiefs become bold enough to wag their tails? I will sit with Saheb to discuss these issues. But my son’s wedding is ruined. So much of stuff wasted, tons of laddoo, shrikhand....

The Mumbai-based satirist is the creator of ‘Trishanku’; E-mail your secret diarist: vgangadhar70 [AT] gmail [DOT] com

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