OUTLOOK Monday 29 July, 2019
Elements of Design

Though the Russians presented a united front of splendrous symmetry, winning golds in synchronised swimming at the FINA world championships at Gwangju, S. Korea, we only have eyes for the Italians, caught here in the glistening throes of a cascading collapse, arms linked and eyes cocked. Olgas and Tatianas hit the podium; Giulias and Francescas smacked us hard in the solar plexus.

Prepare, ‘Bond Boys’

No, don’t fret, no one can replace James Bond so perfectly that the name itself can be transplan­ted to a lesser spook. As Bri­tain’s premier agent leaves “active service for a tranquil life in Jama­ica” (like his cre­a­tor Fleming), the ‘007’ mantle falls on a woman of colour. Her name? We don’t yet know. Her impersonator? Lashana Lynch (Captain Marvel). Lash...lynch...Britain’s enemies are quaking in their boots.

For The Billionth Time

Gossip columns merged with the news pages when Jeff Bezos paid his wife Mackenzie a $38.3 billion divorce settlement. Yet look at him now, as cool as the tens of billions he still has left, whispering into the hair of partner Lauren Sanchez in the royal box at the Wim­b­ledon centre court. Chewed your nails as Djokovic battled Federer? Jeff just chewed the breeze.

Blue Becomes Her

Don’t know if Kriti Sanon—backlit beautifully by an azure sky and striped by a swing—is too chic to go as a ‘small-town jou­r­nalist’ in a movie old-fashionedly named Arjun Patiala. We’ll judge her acting skills on this one though, hoping she’d make use of the wholesomeness that Diljit Dosanjh has to proffer.

Oh Brother!

Taimur isn’t mostly a smiling lad, grimacing and mooning about, poor thing, hauled about by his moviestar mom and mercilessly blinded by photographers’ flashes. Another day, another shot, a more content cherub clinging on to ano­ther fam­ous mother. Is Sunny’s boy Noah or Asher—they didn’t know, those who noted the amazing likeness between the two boys flanking us.

This Too Happened

Baz Luhrmann, director of The Great Gatsby and Moulin Rouge, has found his king. After the likes of Harry Styles and Miles Teller were cast aside, Austin Butler will play Elvis Presley in his biopic which will speak about Elvis’s relationship with Col Tom Parker, his manager, to be played by Tom Hanks.

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  • Our nationalist cine workers associations have passed a diktat—anyone who dares to perform in Pakistan will be ostr­acised henceforth. Poor Mika Singh peddled his fare at a Pakistani wedding and was, consequently, banned from performing in India. Our steadfast protectors didn’t stop at this—Mika is in Salman’s entourage for a US tour, so they have theatened the superstar with a shut-out too if.... Appeal to our dearest Bhai: flex those muscles, do, and call these cowards out.
  • They might be exultantly posing around a broodingly resplendent red planet, but do you, pati­ent assessors of Bolly­woodian verisimilitude, see determind space scientists  in Sonakshi, Nithya Menen, Taapsee, Kirti Kulhari, Vidya and ‘mission director’ Akshay? Mission Mangal’s cast, who impersonate the ISRO team which sent Mangalyaan on its way, had better stick to the antakshari made pop­ular during its promotion. What next? Spuds growing on Akshay’s poop on Mars?
  • That England is an immigrant country is evident from its cricket and football teams, and prominent young people from all walks of life—from politicians to activists, from artistes to academics. Add beauty queens to that. At Miss England, is Bhasha Mukherjee, 23, took the top laurel. But this was just a lazy aside,   almost an afterthought for Bhasha—a doctor with two medical deg­rees. Disabusing us of our hidebound ideas about pageant divas, she says she tried it “to balance out my studying”. Whew! What a winner!
  • And the Indian bridal fashion par­ade continues: a sumptuous reh­ashing of the same designs with new nomenclature. This  latest, gorgeous line by an old master at the game, Tarun Tahiliani, goes by the name of ‘Bloom’­—a richly det­ailed whirligig meant to represent a “synthesis of cultures and values” meant for “young spirited” brides. That’s some change, so take note—if you’re sprightly enough, you deserve this.


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