This is an old one, came across it while clearing my mailbox. And yes, pliss to note, it is not the Gurumukhi alphabet but the Punjabi one
A is for Adjust. Punjabis will always ask you to adjust whenever they want to push you around.
B is for Backside, and it has nothing to do with your bum, it is an instruction to go to the rear of a building, or block, or shop or whatever.
C is for Cloney and it's not a process for replicating sheep, nor is its first name George. It is merely an area where people live e.g. ..."Dfance Cloney"
E is for Expanditure. Punjabis are never shy of spending money - the latest cars, gadgets, marble floors: their ambitions are always expanding.
F is for Fackade, and even though it sounds like a bad word it is actually just the front of a building (with backside being the back, of course).
G is for Gaddi, and the way a Punjabi can pilot his gaddi puts any F1 driver to shame. (If the Grand Prix does come to Delhi there's no way Hamilton, Alonso or Kimi can overtake Balvinder, Jasvinder or Sukhvinder.)
H is for Ho Jayega Ji, and the moment you hear that you have to be careful because you can be reasonably sure it's not going to happen.
I is for Intzaar, and to know more about it see P.
J is for Jutt, which every Punjabi seems to be.
K is for Khanna, Khurana, etc, the Punjabi equivalent of the Joneses (e.g."Keeping up with the Khuranas")
L is for Lovely, but unfortunately she almost never is. Also for Loin, the king of the jungle
M is for Mrooti, the car that an entire generation of Punjabis were in love with.
N is for No Problam Ji. To find out how that works see H.
O is for Oye, which can be surprise (Oyye!), a greeting (Oyy!), anger (OYY!) or pain (Oy oy oy...).
P is for Panj Mint, and no matter how near (1 km) or far (100 km) a Punjabi is from you he always says he'll reach you in panj mint (five minutes)
Q is for Queue, a word completely untranslateable into Punjabi.
R is for Riks, and a Punjabi is always prepared to take one, even if the odds are against him.
S is for Sweetie, Bunty, Pappu and Sonu, who seem to own half the cars in Delhi (the other half are owned by their Pappas - like 'Sweetie de Pappa di Gaddi')
T is for Tandoori chicken, the official bird of Punjab
U is for Uncul-ji
V is for VIP phone numbers @ Rs 15 lakh and counting.
W is for Whan, as in "Whan are you coming, ji?"
X is for the many X-rated words that flow freely in all Punjabi conversations.
Y is for "You nonsense", when anger replaces vocabulary in a shouting match.
Z is for Jindagi, and if there's one person who knows how to live life to the fullest it's a Punjabi.