June 04, 2020
Home  »  Blog  »   »   »  Kolkata Kasai

Kolkata Kasai

"I am a Jihadi terrorist. And along with my Jihadi brothers we have taken foreigners hostage at the Grand Eastern Luxury Hotel and will start killing them one every fifteen minutes. ”

The voice says “So what should I do?”

Kasai is stunned.

“Come here of course.”

The voice replies “This is a strike day. Khamata Day. You expect us to go? You come here to the thana and file a diary.”

Kasai replies.

“I am the Jihadi terrorist and you expect me to come and file a diary at the thana.?”

“Look Jihadi, Azadi, Barbadi whatever you are. If you want the police to come, you come here and file a diary. Understand? By the way, when we guys go to Grand Eastern to sell concert tickets for the Police charity, how come Grand Eastern never makes any contribution? Now these laatsahabs expect us to drive down on a strike day. Scoot.”

Kolkata Kasai
outlookindia.com
1970-01-01T05:30:00+0530
Dark times bring out dark humour. The Great Bong is in fine form:
...Ok old man call this number. And tell them that terrorists have entered the hotel and taken people hostage.”

“I am sorry sir. The phone has been out of order. Noone paid the phone repairman their Puja baksheesh. So…”

Kasai snarls “What a hellhole this is.”

He brings out his satellite phone and starts dialing the number.

The phone at the other end keeps ringing.

Presently someone picks it up.

An immensely disinterested voice says “Hello”

Kasai says “Listen carefully. I am a Jihadi terrorist and along with my Jihadi brothers we have taken foreigners hostage at the Grand Eastern Luxury Hotel and will start killing them one every fifteen minutes. We have already killed…emmm….many.”

The voice at other end: “Grand Eastern Luxury Hotel you say?”

Kasai says “Yes yes.”

The voice says: “Not our jurisdiction. Call Park Circus thana. ”

Kasai says “Listen you.  Did you just hear what I said. I am going to…”

The voice becomes irritated. “Yes I heard what you said. Did you hear what I said? I will watch you on television just like everyone else. Kahan kahan se chale aate hain…”

Phone disconnects.

Kasai is seething with rage. This he did not bargain for.
Continue reading here
Next Story >>
Google + Linkedin Whatsapp

The Latest Issue

Outlook Videos