London Diary

Oh, The Great New Year Resolution!

The onset of the New Year gets people across the world geared up to follow through with their various New Year resolutions. But reality is another story, and it is quite hilarious. The hashtag #resolutionfails has become very popular and has already been trending, although we haven’t yet gone through January.

People have taken to the social media to shamefully admit failure to adhere to their commitments, sharing photographs of their failed work-out attempts, dieting efforts and all other forms of failed resolutions. One man confessed ‘this year lasted a few hours’, after he failed his resolution to quit smoking, with a snap of himself smoking two cigarettes.

One person first tweeted ‘starting good eating tomorrow’ and later tweeted back ‘that resolution lasted less than 12 hours’, with a picture of a large slab of cake on Instagram. Another shared a picture of himself drinking two large cocktails two days into his alcohol- free month. Given that a new diet or a healthier lifestyle top New Year resolutions worldwide, these were the first failures to flood the social media. Even Arnold Schwarzenegger couldn’t help sneaking in a huge cheat meal.

New Year resolutions are known to fail more often than not. So why do we make them only to drop them in a few weeks? Neuroscientists believe humans are programmed to find new things interesting but only for a short while, as the problem lies in our own fickle tendencies. The answer, as usual, can then be, blame your brain.

A Clear Career Change

Some may be looking for a career change to add a sense of challenge to their lives, so very innovatively the CV writing company StandOut CV has put together a list of 10 of ‘the craziest jobs you can apply for in 2016.’ Most are truly whacky but potentially lucrative.

If you’re a chef, here is a career enhancement you might want to consider – Placenta chef. With celebs like Kim Kardashian embracing the benefits of the old Chinese tradition of eating the baby’s placenta and TV chefs such as Jamie Oliver admitting he had come up with a placenta recipe after the birth of his second child in 2009, it’s no surprise that such a job is advertised. In fact, a new undisclosed restaurant is about to open in London for that, and the chosen chef will have to have previous experience in cooking with placenta. Well, if you have a hard stomach go for it!

Most would know about NASA’s announcement to launch its human mission to Mars which will of course not happen until 2030. But applications for it need to be in by February 18, 2016. Of course, the advertisement requires strict qualifications and 1,000 hours experienced piloting a jet. But by the way, it’s likely to be a one-way trip, many say.

Here is another eccentric one – Chick sexers. The British Poultry Council is advertising the job for a salary of £40,000 per year and a three-year training, but despite that there is a huge shortage. All you have to do is determine whether a chick is male or female so they can be reared appropriately. The sex of a chick is determined by delicately squeezing a little poo out of the chick which then enables the chicken sexer to check for a bump. If a bump is found, the chick is male and no bump indicates the chick is a female.

Some are more interesting like a Beer smeller, wherein a Scottish start-up is looking for someone to smell and drink beer to help find the best attributes in each product. Lego is looking for Master Lego builders in the US, where they already have 40 of them. For gaming geeks in the UK, it could be dream job, with vacancies advertised for Video game testers.

But if you are moving to Japan and struggling to find a job, there is one that’s being advertised – Train pusher. The stations often get so busy that professional pushers are required to push people onto the overcrowded trains, or sometimes pull out some who sneak into a full train too late. The selected people will need to wear uniforms and have to work between 7am and 9am and 7pm and 9pm.

I will no longer grumble about our London Underground at rush hour!

Off To The Real Marigold Hotel

The highly popular film and its sequel, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel starring Dame Judi Dench and Dev Patel has gone on to inspire a reality style show. Later this month, BBC Two will telecast in three parts, The Real Marigold Hotel. The eight celebs participating in this reality show have a combined age of 556, no mean feat, that!

The eight aging celebrities, including Miriam Margolyes, Wayne Sleep, Sylvester McCoy, Roy Walker, Rosemary Shrager, Bobby George, Patti Boulaye and Jan Leeming are off to Jaipur to set up home and decide whether they could spend their retirement in India. They will live together in a haveli, 4,200 miles away from their home here for three weeks, thankfully the temperatures in Jaipur won’t peak to its highest during the period.

They all have set tasks to complete, including household chores, such as shopping and cooking, and deciding whether to hire staff to help them run the home. They will also be required to embrace Indian society and culture, with visits to Jaipur’s largest slum and the luxurious Rambagh Palace to meet the royal family.

It surely won’t be a life of drudgery as they will visit Agra and Varanasi and get the opportunity to try elephant riding, yoga and learning Hindi. To check whether they would like to retire in India they have to go house hunting and use local medical services.

Unlike most reality shows there are no eliminations or winners and losers. But, despite each being a national treasure, it would be interesting to watch if they can cope with each other. For instance, chef Rosemary Shrager has admitted having a short temper. The antidote appears to have been former Doctor Who star McCoy, 72, who said his role within the group was ‘to raise a smile’.

Some, like Leeming, 74, is seriously considering moving to India, at least for the winter months, as her father was born in the country and served in the Indian army.

While former Catchphrase host Walker, 74, who appreciates the appeal of moving to India, given the friendliness of the people, hiring staff and money taking him further, darts player George, 70, is apprehensive because of the red tape involved in buying property there.

Chef Shrager and singer Boulaye, 61, feel Britain could learn a lot from how Indians treat their elders and how the older generation cultivated that so deserved respect. Dancer Sleep, 67, is taking part in the show to connect with his spiritual side, saying: ‘For Indians, religion is a way of life whereas in Britain it is more of a hobby’. Appreciation of spirituality seems to be a common thread amongst all of them.

It would definitely be interesting, to meet the eight occupants of The Real Marigold Hotel, going through their daily life in India!