National

A.B. Bardhan

Hindsight is something that comrade Prakash (Karat) does not believe in. But I know that to look ahead I have to look back.

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A.B. Bardhan
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Now, hindsight is something that comrade Prakash (Karat) does not believe in. But I know that to look ahead I have to look back. My good doctor (not Manmohan) tells me that the third eye never lies, provided it’s open. But despite this, before airing my new worldview in public, I did consult six Left-leaning intellectuals and the local bread-omlettewallah (my best sounding board) to see if my position was politically correct. "Bardhanji, you are as correct as my omlettes," Billu said even as he served up another one to the man on my right. The intellectuals, of course, have been writing papers on my new-found vision (to be published shortly in one omnibus volume, ‘Bardhan And The Art of The U-turn For Pedestrians and Politicians’). Also, Columbia Records has signed me and Eminem to record the Nandigram Blues. I’ll do the lyrics and anger, Eminem the rap and swear words. The last is considered essential for commercial success in the US and other capitalist nations. Well, I must admit I don’t know much about rap but Sitaram (Yechury) assures me that if I prefix a ‘C’, I’ll get a better understanding of the genre.

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Clearly, Sitaram is being sarcastic, upset as he is with all the Marxist-bashing I have lately indulged in. He feels I should not have gone to the press but whispered it all in his ear. Well, I did think of that option but dropped it after our trusted double agent in the Congress, ‘Luhar’ (that’s Rahul written backwards!), persuaded me to go public. Incidentally, Luhar has been passing on those strategy notes from the aicc headquarters. The one that got me most was how one must be "first off the mark to hit the mark". It was Luhar’s advice that I fire my salvo in quick time, thus denying Karat & co the chance to blame my party for the Left’s poor showing. What a masterstroke! As for Prakash, despite the bad vibes I feel I owe him this one favour. I will send my doctor over. Perhaps he’ll be able to locate the man’s third eye, open it for him. Luhar says it’s the only hope for the commissar.

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(As imagined by Ajith Pillai)

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