Bollywood has made about ten thousand movies since I started patronizing it, and the release of Bhoot
marks only the third instance of one without songs. 3 out of 10,000 isn't something you want to boast about.
Heck! Even politicians score better. At least some of them do.
At the same time, songs like Kaliyon ka chaman, kaanta laga, and Chadhti Jawani have enjoyed a success that
boggles the mind.
To understand, we need a rapid recap of the Hindi Film Song.
Once, songs were supposed to "take the story forward". That was the theory, anyway. But somewhere,
somehow, someone figured out that whenever you wanted to show the hero and heroine having sex, but couldn't,
you could put a song instead. Substituting sex with love could fool the morons in the censor board, the
audience would know how to decode it and the heroine's mother would be happy. Thus came the seven-song
formula. If you don't believe me, look at America. There they allowed sex on the screen and the musicals
What with the national libido being severely repressed under the license-permit raj and the emergence of
many genuinely brilliant composers and singers at the same time, one thing led to another and finally, with
the music companies jumping into the picture, the charade of songs "taking the story forward" was finally
shelved; even the great fig leaf of "a dream sequence" was boldly discarded and films started getting made
to connect the songs.
Soon we had a situation where we had a choice between romantic musical, the family drama musical, the
social musical, the dacoit musical, the patriotic musical, the horror musical and the murder-mystery musical.
Basically, they were all the same.
They blamed everything, from the monsoons to General Musharraf, but they defended the Song. Songs, if you
were listening to their arguments, have a unique place in our culture and "we express our emotions through
songs". Which was true, but pointless as an argument.
Songs have a unique place in every culture, including that of the USA (though some people may argue
that it hasn't got any culture). Walk through the streets of Lisbon, Sao Paulo or even London, and you'll
find people singing on the roads with a crowd around them. They too sing at their weddings; they, too, have
songs about broken hears and unrequited love. In fact, not only do they sing, they sing far more than us, if
you go by the number of albums released, and, what's more, those people buy far, far, far more music in
other countries than in India.
The difference is that in most other countries, the movie industry and the music industry have been
Cut to the present.
The same is happening in India as well. Non-film songs have grown in popularity through TV's music video
format and have reached a stage today where some of them sell more than film songs. In fact, the share of the
film albums in total music sales has fallen drastically. Not having the energy to call up various
organizations and do a detailed research on this, I settled down to watching the music channels and listening
to the radio. I stand by my argument.
So, now to the success of Kanta laga, Kaliyon ka chaman, et al.
You may argue about the copyright issue and lack of creativity, but what the re-mixes are very clearly
demonstrating is that a song doesn't have to be a part of the movie to succeed. In any case, they were never
truly part of the movie. And visually, they are much closer to what the filmmakers had originally intended but
couldn't show because of the censors and the heroine's mother. No wonder they are bigger hits today than
what they were earlier. What the songs needed were TV channels, teenagers with money and young women whose
mothers didn't mind what they were doing to earn a living. The combination is fast falling into place.
Now that we can get our songs from the TV, we can remove them from our films. This can have many positive
effects. For one, directors will have no option but to tell a story. This may be bad news for the current
filmmakers, but it's definitely good news for you and me. It's also good news for many aspiring
filmmakers. Like you and me.
This argument alone should be clinching enough, but let's take a more holistic view. Songs take much
longer to shoot and therefore are the costliest components of a film. Take away the songs and you make the
film much cheaper to make.
Take away the songs and you can also take away the sons of all ex-film stars. And, now, you can make the
films much, much cheaper to make. This may be bad news for the star kids, but this is good news for the poor
distributors. They are the ones who not only lose all the money when a film fails, they don't even know
which room the casting couch is kept in.
This is good news for the producers as well. As every producer and quantum physicist knows, it's not the
certainty, but the probability of success that is important. And the probability of success, defined in terms
of money generated minus money spent in making the film, goes up exponentially as the costs go down. After
all, Kanoon, Ittefaq and Bhoot haven't done badly at the box-office. In fact, for a small
budget movie to lose money, it has to be almost idiotic in its conception.
So, in the years to come, when you get to see truly gripping song-less movies, don't forget to thank the
bottom-patting girls in the re-mixes you see today. You owe it to them.
Thank you to all those who have taken the trouble to read the article and share their thoughts. Out of the arguments made here, there are two that perhaps need answering. So here they go.
1. The first part of the article compares outcomes (relative percentages of population of the religions concerned) irrespective of the process that led to those outcomes - whether immigration, relatively faster population growth or conversions. This was for two reasons. One, to put the figure of 2.3 per cent in "numerical perspective", as the article itself explained. The second reason was that outcomes are ultimately what the crux of debate is about. The rest of the article in any case dealt with process - or conversions in this case, from both a contemporary and historical perspective.
2. Some commenters have tried to cast doubts on the reliability of Census 2001. Those who do this should bear in mind that Census 2001 was conducted by a BJP government. Considering the extreme importance that BJP gives to this issue, it would be reasonable to expect that IF it had perceived a problem with the methodology that was distorting the numbers, it would have fixed it. As the article mentioned, BJP or BJP-supported governments have been in power for 10 of the last 40 years, or about a quarter of the time, and the only reasonable conclusion one can arrive at is that any misreporting of numbers, real or perceived, would be marginal and hence, not of importance.
To all other arguments made, my answer is the following: Please read the article again, with particular focus on the quotations of Vivekananda and Monier Williams, and the history of the missionary efforts in Bengal and their outcome.
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