Frustrated with repeated snubs by American institutions and Visa offices, Hindu Hriday Samrat (post-Thackeray) Narendra Modi has decided to join Punjabi-Pop sensation Daler Mehndi’s troupe of background dancers to gain an easy entry into the US of A. Reliable sources suggest that Modi has been inducted as “Bhangra dancer number 24” in the 60-member group of Daler Mehndi’s forthcoming World Tour.
“We tried everything, from showing the US embassy people the number of YouTube hits on Modiji’s speeches to stalking Steven Spielberg on his India visit, but nothing worked,” admitted a close aide of Modi who didn’t want to be named. “We were forced to take desperate measures and Daler Mehndi’s high success rate in pigeon rackets sealed the deal,” the aide said.
Daler Mehndi confirmed the development and said, “We had a position vacant for a guy who climbs on other’s shoulders at the end of the dance and proclaims victory. Narendrabhai fitted the role perfectly.” On the visa issue, Mehndi added with a grin, “I am no Robert Vadra, but still I can get through some checks without any questions. Puraana khilaadi hoon. (Am playing this game long before Robert arrived.)”
The news has spread a wave of spontaneous joy among Modi’s supporters in Gujarat and internet. “He’s the only Indian leader capable of such pragmatism. Also Rahul Gandhi’s real name is Raul Maino!” said @Modi4PM2014 on Twitter. Political commentator Shambhu Shekhar praised Modi’s courage in the face of repeated boycotts, the latest one being from Wharton University, and credited this smart step to his development model in Gujarat. “Modi is a core believer in alternative methods. Solar panels as alternative energy in Gujarat are a result of this belief. Similarly, Bhangra is a rich-in-Bharatiya-tradition alternative method to get a visa,” said Shekhar.
Not everybody is amused with Modi’s US cherry about to be popped, though. Social scientist, historian, and editor of independent policy journal WARS (Whatever Arundhati Roy Says) Kamal Yadav said, “All this is pure hype created by his PR agency. Development stories from Gujarat are a myth, Modi’s oratory is a myth, his Bhangra skills are a myth. And what about 2002?” Kamal urged the US institutions, malls, restaurants, zebra crossings, parking lots, pet cats and elevators to boycott Modi when he visits there.
NRIs based in the US have already planned for a series of lectures by Modi. “This is historic,” said Sam Shah (chairman, Indo-US Commerce Chambers) equating Modi’s impending America visit with Vasco da Gama discovering Indian shores in 1498. “Vasco of course was less ambitious in comparison,” he added.
Meanwhile, away from the buzz, PM Manmohan Singh was spotted on Lok Sabha TV camera ordering the book ‘Urdu Shayari for Every Occasion’ from an online book store.
Varun Grover is a cynic of the highest order who channels his disappointment with a failing world into his stand-up comedy and satire blog thedailytamasha.wordpress.com
Thank you to all those who have taken the trouble to read the article and share their thoughts. Out of the arguments made here, there are two that perhaps need answering. So here they go.
1. The first part of the article compares outcomes (relative percentages of population of the religions concerned) irrespective of the process that led to those outcomes - whether immigration, relatively faster population growth or conversions. This was for two reasons. One, to put the figure of 2.3 per cent in "numerical perspective", as the article itself explained. The second reason was that outcomes are ultimately what the crux of debate is about. The rest of the article in any case dealt with process - or conversions in this case, from both a contemporary and historical perspective.
2. Some commenters have tried to cast doubts on the reliability of Census 2001. Those who do this should bear in mind that Census 2001 was conducted by a BJP government. Considering the extreme importance that BJP gives to this issue, it would be reasonable to expect that IF it had perceived a problem with the methodology that was distorting the numbers, it would have fixed it. As the article mentioned, BJP or BJP-supported governments have been in power for 10 of the last 40 years, or about a quarter of the time, and the only reasonable conclusion one can arrive at is that any misreporting of numbers, real or perceived, would be marginal and hence, not of importance.
To all other arguments made, my answer is the following: Please read the article again, with particular focus on the quotations of Vivekananda and Monier Williams, and the history of the missionary efforts in Bengal and their outcome.
Atleast you could hav spared Modi, the serios contenter
to the top INDIA CEO s post from Spoof. But old habits die hard.
Modi gonna rock Philly with " Gujju Asmita"
Even though Wharton Business school withdrew its invitation to Mr. Narendra Modi, USA’s businessmen, industrialists and politicians are really impressed by Mr. Narendra Modi’s achievements in Gujarat and are keen to invest in Gujarat as it is moving forward. Obviously the right course for these gentlemen and ladies is to set up companies in Gujarat. Gujarat is keen to increase its share in (a) automobile manufacturing, and (b) software/information technology. Mr. Narendra Modi’s visit to USA can be arranged after investments are made as right now he is busy with action plan for BJP’s return to power in Delhi.
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