Everyone paints the Shiv Sainiks as monsters. Baah! We are simple, kind and gentle folks. When fancy restaurants in Delhi reported a shortage of foie gras, we did not complain or agitate. That is not in our nature. Why isn’t the new Maharashtra Sadan in New Delhi named after Shivaji maharaj? We had been insisting that the sadan serve us regularly puran poli, vran baht, usal paav and other Maharashtrian delicacies but who listens to the humble Marathi voice? Then comes the ultimate insult of having to eat stale chapatis. You see, Delhi is an ancient city with lots of historical monuments. Our great leader Uddhavji warned us never to forget this fact. A couple of my MP friends warned me that the chapatis at the Maharashtra Sadan could be the leftover from one of the banquets served on August 15, 1947, and preserved as a historical monument. I did not know what to do with such a chapati and so I forced it down the throat of the sadan employee, Arshad. How should we know that he was a Muslim and was observing some kind of a fast? As a political party, the Sena never believes in fasting, we even laughed at Anna Hazare’s antics. If we could do that to Anna, why should we bother about this Arshad?
So much about the quality of food at the sadan. In fact, I and the other 10 Sena MPs while attacking Arshad with stale chapatis were only following the clear instructions of our great leaders, the late Balasaheb, Uddhavji and rising star Adityaji. They had made it clear to the Sena rank and file that while plunging into action, we should always use the best and purest materials as our weapons. Let me give some examples. In the school and college campuses in Mumbai, we often punished uncooperative management representatives, principals who refuse to give our wards admission and teachers who we suspect were guilty of eve-teasing by smearing their faces with ink or tar. Mind you, we always used the best quality ink and tar, as advised by our great leaders. Never second best! Similarly, when we agitated for some noble cause or organised Mumbai bandhs, we use the best quality stones to attack buses, trains and other moving objects.
Shiv Sena leaders are accustomed to the best things in public life. If we want certain things, we go ahead and get them. If the sadan had served us fresh chapatis, it would have been okay with us. We only thrust the chapati into Arshad’s mouth because we thought he looked weak and hungry. The Sena has always had a soft corner for the weak and the hungry. Now you know what happens when we go out of our way to help THEM, which is why we’ve always been saying that they do not deserve any help!
The Mumbai-based satirist is the creator of ‘Trishanku’; E-mail your secret diarist: vgangadhar70 [AT] gmail [DOT] com
We at Outlookindia.com welcome feedback and your comments, including scathing criticism
1. Scathing, passionate, even angry critiques are welcome, but please do not indulge in abuse and invective. Our Primary concern is to keep the debate civil. We urge our users to try and express their disagreements without being disagreeable. Personal attacks are not welcome. No ad hominem please.
2. Please do not post the same message again and again in the same or different threads
3. Please keep your responses confined to the subject matter of the article you are responding to. Please note that our comments section is not a general free-for-all but for feedback to articles/blogs posted on the site
4. Our endeavour is to keep these forums unmoderated and unexpurgated. But if any of the above three conditions are violated, we reserve the right to delete any comment that we deem objectionable and also to withdraw posting privileges from the abuser. Please also note that hate-speech is punishable by law and in extreme circumstances, we may be forced to take legal action by tracing the IP addresses of the poster.
5. If someone is being abusive or personal, or generally being a troll or a flame-baiter, please do not descend to their level. The best response to such posters is to ignore them and send us a message at Mail AT outlookindia DOT com with the subject header COMPLAINT
6. Please do not copy and paste copyrighted material. If you do think that an article elsewhere has relevance to the point you wish to make, please only quote what is considered fair-use and provide a link to the article under question.
7. There is no particular outlookindia.com line on any subject. The views expressed in our opinion section are those of the author concerned and not that of all of outlookindia.com or all its authors.
8. Please also note that you are solely responsible for the comments posted by you on the site. The comments could be deleted or edited entirely at our discretion if we find them objectionable. However, the mere fact of their existence on our site does not mean that we necessarily approve of their contents. In short, the onus of responsibility for the comments remains solely with the authors thereof. Outlookindia.com or any of its group publications, may, however, retains the right to publish any of these comments, with or without editing, in any medium whatsoever. It is therefore in your own interest to be careful before posting.
9.Outlookindia.com is not responsible in any manner whatsoever for how any search engine -- such as Google, Bing etc -- caches or displays these comments. Please note that you are solely responsible for posting these comments and it is a privilege being granted to our registered users which can be withdrawn in case of abuse. To reiterate:
a. Comments once posted can only be deleted at the discretion of outlookindia.com
b. The comments reflect the views of the authors and not of outlookindia.com
c. outlookindia.com is not responsible in any manner whatsoever for the way search engines cache or display these comments
d. Please therefore take due caution before you post any comments as your words could potentially be used against you
10. We have an online thread for our comments policy:
You are welcome to post your suggestions here or in case you have a specific issue, to directly email us at Mail AT outlookindia DOT com with the subject header COMPLAINT