Srini (BCCI president N. Srinivasan) phoned me the other day. Told me his favourite baby, the IPL, will be expanded by one more team to be chosen from among 10 cities. Naturally, Ahmedabad led the list. Not for nothing am I the president of the Gujarat Cricket Association. I am crazy about sports but had to refuse the chairmanship of the Gujarat Baseball League sponsored by the super-rich motel-owning NRI Patels of Nadiad because the Yanks still don’t allow me into their country. And baseball is their national game!
We are all ready to enter IPL, the money asked for is chicken feed. Our team and its sponsors are raring to go. I have named the team Naroda Patiya Jackals because for me, Naroda Patiya is punya bhoomi, as sacred as Sabarmati ashram. The local players list is ready and the captain is the great Babu Bajrangi, a hero to all of us, who can do many things, including playing cricket. Srini wondered how he could play cricket being lodged in jail. Arre Baba, don’t you know how people in Delhi, Haryana, Amritsar and other places in jail for the same type of offences were always out on parole as and when they pleased and enjoying life. Woh, Jessica Lal wala, Manu Sharma, Punjab Akali stalwart and SGPC boss, some Bibi, jailed for murdering her daughter (our Bajrangibhai never did that). So Babu Bajrangi will be playing cricket, leading our team. We all know cricket in India is more important than our judicial system and some silly life imprisonment. Since Bajrangi is lodged in Sabarmati jail, we can easily prepare cricket pitches and organise adequate practice for him. And I am negotiating with Ravi Shastri and Sunil Gavaskar to coach them. Five crores each should do the trick. Our local boys will be Patels, many of them immortalised in Naroda Patiya heroics.
Now for team selection, the foreign professionals. I wanted Larwoodbhai, Jeff Thomsonbhai, Charlie Griffithbhai, they were men who could draw blood on the pitch. That excites me. What a pity Larwoodbhai is dead but the Naroda Jackals will get the other two as coaches. Srini was full of praise and admiration for my team. Arun Jaitley, president of Delhi Cricket Association, welcomed my initiative. My table is groaning under the weight of congratulatory messages from the Ambanis, Ratan Tata, Mittals, Jindals and every other top industrialist. They all want to be part of Naroda Patiya Jackals and I have to work this out. That said, my IPL entry has upset some people. (Someone told me that Teesta Setalvad has stopped eating after hearing the news. Good for her.) Our captain Babu Bajrangi is eager to get going and assures me he has not forgotten his skills in cutting, chopping, gouging and bashing (I mean the cricket ball).
The Mumbai-based satirist is the creator of ‘Trishanku’; E-mail your secret diarist: vgangadhar70 AT gmail.com
Becoming India’s prime minister may be Narendra Modi’s dream, but it’s a nightmarish prospect for the people. His pro-business vibe can’t possibly camouflage his inhuman face nor can his development talk erase his sponsoring of the 2002 riots (Secret Diary, Oct 1). Even in 2012, rioters are being arrested, one in fact directly from his ministry.
Ratan Bhattacharjee, Calcutta
The Secret Diary of Narendra Modi is nothing but fond hope. Modi is to India what Gulliver was to the Lilliputs.
J.N. Bhartiya, Hyderabad
Thank you to all those who have taken the trouble to read the article and share their thoughts. Out of the arguments made here, there are two that perhaps need answering. So here they go.
1. The first part of the article compares outcomes (relative percentages of population of the religions concerned) irrespective of the process that led to those outcomes - whether immigration, relatively faster population growth or conversions. This was for two reasons. One, to put the figure of 2.3 per cent in "numerical perspective", as the article itself explained. The second reason was that outcomes are ultimately what the crux of debate is about. The rest of the article in any case dealt with process - or conversions in this case, from both a contemporary and historical perspective.
2. Some commenters have tried to cast doubts on the reliability of Census 2001. Those who do this should bear in mind that Census 2001 was conducted by a BJP government. Considering the extreme importance that BJP gives to this issue, it would be reasonable to expect that IF it had perceived a problem with the methodology that was distorting the numbers, it would have fixed it. As the article mentioned, BJP or BJP-supported governments have been in power for 10 of the last 40 years, or about a quarter of the time, and the only reasonable conclusion one can arrive at is that any misreporting of numbers, real or perceived, would be marginal and hence, not of importance.
To all other arguments made, my answer is the following: Please read the article again, with particular focus on the quotations of Vivekananda and Monier Williams, and the history of the missionary efforts in Bengal and their outcome.
The inhuman face of Narendra Modi cannot be camouflaged by any other ways. Whatever he talks about development, will be meaningless, if he sponsors riots. The 2002 communal conflagration was instigated by his people and his inaction simply helped the rioteers. Even in 2012 , such rioteers are being arrested and one was directly the member of his ministry. This is all shameful. Life is insecure in Gujarat both for the muslims and the hindus as well. Riot-sponsoring Chief Minister should not remain in power even for a single day. Now Modi is dreaming of being the Prime Minister of India which is a secular republic. This may be his dream, but it is a nightmare for Indian people.
5D, Ahmedabad wallah,
I am not going to bray with you since you support your alpha jackal.
Suffice it to say that all these politicians like MMS and Modi are anti-males. They are either wolves in sheeps clothes or, like Modi, a wolf in jackal clothes. The more you beware these creatures who are out to create friction between Indian MALES, the better for your mental health.
Reading this article I remembered ........Karishma & Govinda singing "tujko mirchi lagi to mai kya karo".......Mr Gangadhar ....time to grow up!
We saw secularism last week in Chennai......
I found that this artilce under "Most Commented" but still this gangadhar has got 7 comments..
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