Srini (BCCI president N. Srinivasan) phoned me the other day. Told me his favourite baby, the IPL, will be expanded by one more team to be chosen from among 10 cities. Naturally, Ahmedabad led the list. Not for nothing am I the president of the Gujarat Cricket Association. I am crazy about sports but had to refuse the chairmanship of the Gujarat Baseball League sponsored by the super-rich motel-owning NRI Patels of Nadiad because the Yanks still don’t allow me into their country. And baseball is their national game!
We are all ready to enter IPL, the money asked for is chicken feed. Our team and its sponsors are raring to go. I have named the team Naroda Patiya Jackals because for me, Naroda Patiya is punya bhoomi, as sacred as Sabarmati ashram. The local players list is ready and the captain is the great Babu Bajrangi, a hero to all of us, who can do many things, including playing cricket. Srini wondered how he could play cricket being lodged in jail. Arre Baba, don’t you know how people in Delhi, Haryana, Amritsar and other places in jail for the same type of offences were always out on parole as and when they pleased and enjoying life. Woh, Jessica Lal wala, Manu Sharma, Punjab Akali stalwart and SGPC boss, some Bibi, jailed for murdering her daughter (our Bajrangibhai never did that). So Babu Bajrangi will be playing cricket, leading our team. We all know cricket in India is more important than our judicial system and some silly life imprisonment. Since Bajrangi is lodged in Sabarmati jail, we can easily prepare cricket pitches and organise adequate practice for him. And I am negotiating with Ravi Shastri and Sunil Gavaskar to coach them. Five crores each should do the trick. Our local boys will be Patels, many of them immortalised in Naroda Patiya heroics.
Now for team selection, the foreign professionals. I wanted Larwoodbhai, Jeff Thomsonbhai, Charlie Griffithbhai, they were men who could draw blood on the pitch. That excites me. What a pity Larwoodbhai is dead but the Naroda Jackals will get the other two as coaches. Srini was full of praise and admiration for my team. Arun Jaitley, president of Delhi Cricket Association, welcomed my initiative. My table is groaning under the weight of congratulatory messages from the Ambanis, Ratan Tata, Mittals, Jindals and every other top industrialist. They all want to be part of Naroda Patiya Jackals and I have to work this out. That said, my IPL entry has upset some people. (Someone told me that Teesta Setalvad has stopped eating after hearing the news. Good for her.) Our captain Babu Bajrangi is eager to get going and assures me he has not forgotten his skills in cutting, chopping, gouging and bashing (I mean the cricket ball).
The Mumbai-based satirist is the creator of ‘Trishanku’; E-mail your secret diarist: vgangadhar70 AT gmail.com
Becoming India’s prime minister may be Narendra Modi’s dream, but it’s a nightmarish prospect for the people. His pro-business vibe can’t possibly camouflage his inhuman face nor can his development talk erase his sponsoring of the 2002 riots (Secret Diary, Oct 1). Even in 2012, rioters are being arrested, one in fact directly from his ministry.
Ratan Bhattacharjee, Calcutta
The Secret Diary of Narendra Modi is nothing but fond hope. Modi is to India what Gulliver was to the Lilliputs.
J.N. Bhartiya, Hyderabad
The inhuman face of Narendra Modi cannot be camouflaged by any other ways. Whatever he talks about development, will be meaningless, if he sponsors riots. The 2002 communal conflagration was instigated by his people and his inaction simply helped the rioteers. Even in 2012 , such rioteers are being arrested and one was directly the member of his ministry. This is all shameful. Life is insecure in Gujarat both for the muslims and the hindus as well. Riot-sponsoring Chief Minister should not remain in power even for a single day. Now Modi is dreaming of being the Prime Minister of India which is a secular republic. This may be his dream, but it is a nightmare for Indian people.
5D, Ahmedabad wallah,
I am not going to bray with you since you support your alpha jackal.
Suffice it to say that all these politicians like MMS and Modi are anti-males. They are either wolves in sheeps clothes or, like Modi, a wolf in jackal clothes. The more you beware these creatures who are out to create friction between Indian MALES, the better for your mental health.
Reading this article I remembered ........Karishma & Govinda singing "tujko mirchi lagi to mai kya karo".......Mr Gangadhar ....time to grow up!
We saw secularism last week in Chennai......
I found that this artilce under "Most Commented" but still this gangadhar has got 7 comments..
We at Outlookindia.com welcome feedback and your comments, including scathing criticism
1. Scathing, passionate, even angry critiques are welcome, but please do not indulge in abuse and invective. Our Primary concern is to keep the debate civil. We urge our users to try and express their disagreements without being disagreeable. Personal attacks are not welcome. No ad hominem please.
2. Please do not post the same message again and again in the same or different threads
3. Please keep your responses confined to the subject matter of the article you are responding to. Please note that our comments section is not a general free-for-all but for feedback to articles/blogs posted on the site
4. Our endeavour is to keep these forums unmoderated and unexpurgated. But if any of the above three conditions are violated, we reserve the right to delete any comment that we deem objectionable and also to withdraw posting privileges from the abuser. Please also note that hate-speech is punishable by law and in extreme circumstances, we may be forced to take legal action by tracing the IP addresses of the poster.
5. If someone is being abusive or personal, or generally being a troll or a flame-baiter, please do not descend to their level. The best response to such posters is to ignore them and send us a message at Mail AT outlookindia DOT com with the subject header COMPLAINT
6. Please do not copy and paste copyrighted material. If you do think that an article elsewhere has relevance to the point you wish to make, please only quote what is considered fair-use and provide a link to the article under question.
7. There is no particular outlookindia.com line on any subject. The views expressed in our opinion section are those of the author concerned and not that of all of outlookindia.com or all its authors.
8. Please also note that you are solely responsible for the comments posted by you on the site. The comments could be deleted or edited entirely at our discretion if we find them objectionable. However, the mere fact of their existence on our site does not mean that we necessarily approve of their contents. In short, the onus of responsibility for the comments remains solely with the authors thereof. Outlookindia.com or any of its group publications, may, however, retains the right to publish any of these comments, with or without editing, in any medium whatsoever. It is therefore in your own interest to be careful before posting.
9.Outlookindia.com is not responsible in any manner whatsoever for how any search engine -- such as Google, Bing etc -- caches or displays these comments. Please note that you are solely responsible for posting these comments and it is a privilege being granted to our registered users which can be withdrawn in case of abuse. To reiterate:
a. Comments once posted can only be deleted at the discretion of outlookindia.com
b. The comments reflect the views of the authors and not of outlookindia.com
c. outlookindia.com is not responsible in any manner whatsoever for the way search engines cache or display these comments
d. Please therefore take due caution before you post any comments as your words could potentially be used against you
10. We have an online thread for our comments policy:
You are welcome to post your suggestions here or in case you have a specific issue, to directly email us at Mail AT outlookindia DOT com with the subject header COMPLAINT