The first 13 years of my life were spent in Bengal and so I grew up then with an unadulterated Bengali influence. We lived in a huge joint family, followed all the rituals and festivals—be it the Vishwakarma Pooja or Rakhi when we made the “manjha” for kites at home. We wore yellow for the Saraswati Pooja. For each occasion we made a different kind of alpana. What added to it all was that I went to a Bengali medium school. The food we had and the music we listened to were also Bengali. I also grew up wearing saris for formal occasions. There was no jeans culture back then. It was after Apur Sansar that I left the school and went to Loretto Convent. It was then that the exposure to the outside world began—the Westernised, English-speaking world. The North Indian, Hindi influence came in when I moved to Bombay for Kashmir Ki Kali. All these influences came into my life gradually.
My home had always been very inclusive. There were no restrictions, we were open to many different cultures. We were exposed to a lot—Western music, violin and piano. We were taught to be discerning. There were so many cousins around, a variety of points of view and arguments galore. Dissent was welcomed, debates were considered healthy. I have imbibed the best, took up and incorporated what I liked the most from every culture. But at the core the Bengali in me stays. I like listening to Rabindra Sangeet. I still have my grandmother’s hand-written recipes. Macher jhol is my comfort food. Earlier it was my mother who made it for me, now whenever I am ill I send distress signal to friends and they send it over for me. There has been a plurality of influences but I love the Bengali language, the poetry, the Dhakai sari.
In the last 20 years the world has changed dramatically. Internet, mobile and the access to travel have made the world a smaller place. World has literally come to one’s doorstep. You can hear so many lingos around you. Some old ways are going away. Sari is disappearing, salwar suits are everywhere. Women are working now, are not home bound. The joint family system, family relations are disappearing, the practice of having lunch and dinner together is disappearing. Everyone wants their own TV and their own space. The intermingling, the community feeling is no longer there. The pressures of the outside world have started playing in a big way inside the family. I learnt and imbibed a lot from my mother and grandmother but kids are leaving home much earlier these days for the hostels, universities; they don’t stay long enough at home to learn the traditions from their parents. Earlier religion was a way of life, a cultural thing. Every mithai, the nimkis, chorchoris, moa were made at home by my grandmother. My mother didn’t make them as much as my grandmom and it's lost on me. Not that I can’t make them but because I don’t like going to the kitchen. This kind of change is inevitable with time. But strong roots at home make one better at coping with the world outside or else one can be rendered vulnerable. The secure base, the calmness helps in dealing with different, conflicting opinions.
As long as my mother was alive I used to visit Kolkata regularly. Now there’s no immediate family there’s no compulsion to visit either. But there are lots of friends there from my early days in films. I do stay in touch with the Bangla art, culture, literature. I read Jai Goswami, have watched recent films like Autograph and Bhooter Bhobishyat which I thought was great. In Kolkata if one wants to eat Bengali food then it has to be ghar ka khaanaa. Or else Oh Calcutta is a favourite place. I also love visiting Belur, Dakshineshwar, love to sit next to the river.
Since Partition there has been an influx of too many people into Kolkata and the infrastructure has not been able to support it. The turnaround came in the 70s when the money, the corporates left Kolkata because of unionism. Only the Marwaris stayed back. The city got the reputation of being a place where no one wanted to work. Fifteen years of Communism and a lack of interest shown by the Centre has meant that the infrastructure is abysmal. There are too many people, too much poverty. The state is under so much debt. How can anyone put it right? It’s a steep challenge, a very layered, complex problem. Also it is said that Bengalis don’t make good businessmen. Instead they are artistic, argumentative and politically inclined. Every other community has overtaken Bengalis, making money out of coal, jute, tea. The Bengalis, in fact, are doing well outside Bengal than in it. These days all the high profile Bengalis live outside than in Bengal.
It is good to see someone like Sharmila Tagore Pataudi make an open admission of all that is wrong with us as a community. Hopefully, the jokers of Poschim Bongo will do some self-introspection instead of launching a vitriolic atack on her.
You know, Ms. Tagore is referring to the Bengali 'rakhi'. It's seems to be a bit different, but is actually very much the same. I must say, that Bengali's are very admired in their community. I, not staying in Bengal, know how these people, are admired where they stay. I always thought, the Bengali exhibits self admiration, when he views certain cinema. The same is the case in the south, in Tamil Nadu, and I came to understand, this is so in every state. Perhaps, Hindi cinema, is very important, but for different reasons. What I see is, people want an identity in culture, but I never saw a person in Bengal, want an identity in his culture. Why? Tagore isn't every Bengali. No one says, that he follows a certain culture, because he identifies with a person. We may appreciate another person, if there is something familiar to us both. Perhaps, this is what I see in Bengal.
Sharmila was always elegant! I just realized she is very analytical and thoughtful in communicating her analysis. I did not know this aspect of Sharmila.
We do not need complicated intellectuals, as it happens to be often!
We at Outlookindia.com welcome feedback and your comments, including scathing criticism
1. Scathing, passionate, even angry critiques are welcome, but please do not indulge in abuse and invective. Our Primary concern is to keep the debate civil. We urge our users to try and express their disagreements without being disagreeable. Personal attacks are not welcome. No ad hominem please.
2. Please do not post the same message again and again in the same or different threads
3. Please keep your responses confined to the subject matter of the article you are responding to. Please note that our comments section is not a general free-for-all but for feedback to articles/blogs posted on the site
4. Our endeavour is to keep these forums unmoderated and unexpurgated. But if any of the above three conditions are violated, we reserve the right to delete any comment that we deem objectionable and also to withdraw posting privileges from the abuser. Please also note that hate-speech is punishable by law and in extreme circumstances, we may be forced to take legal action by tracing the IP addresses of the poster.
5. If someone is being abusive or personal, or generally being a troll or a flame-baiter, please do not descend to their level. The best response to such posters is to ignore them and send us a message at Mail AT outlookindia DOT com with the subject header COMPLAINT
6. Please do not copy and paste copyrighted material. If you do think that an article elsewhere has relevance to the point you wish to make, please only quote what is considered fair-use and provide a link to the article under question.
7. There is no particular outlookindia.com line on any subject. The views expressed in our opinion section are those of the author concerned and not that of all of outlookindia.com or all its authors.
8. Please also note that you are solely responsible for the comments posted by you on the site. The comments could be deleted or edited entirely at our discretion if we find them objectionable. However, the mere fact of their existence on our site does not mean that we necessarily approve of their contents. In short, the onus of responsibility for the comments remains solely with the authors thereof. Outlookindia.com or any of its group publications, may, however, retains the right to publish any of these comments, with or without editing, in any medium whatsoever. It is therefore in your own interest to be careful before posting.
9.Outlookindia.com is not responsible in any manner whatsoever for how any search engine -- such as Google, Bing etc -- caches or displays these comments. Please note that you are solely responsible for posting these comments and it is a privilege being granted to our registered users which can be withdrawn in case of abuse. To reiterate:
a. Comments once posted can only be deleted at the discretion of outlookindia.com
b. The comments reflect the views of the authors and not of outlookindia.com
c. outlookindia.com is not responsible in any manner whatsoever for the way search engines cache or display these comments
d. Please therefore take due caution before you post any comments as your words could potentially be used against you
10. We have an online thread for our comments policy:
You are welcome to post your suggestions here or in case you have a specific issue, to directly email us at Mail AT outlookindia DOT com with the subject header COMPLAINT