An ACP for 15 years. No promotions. So what? The public acclaim is there. People here never telephoned the police, it was always the CID. And we marched out like the Magnificent Seven. Why worry about promotions when even police commissioners were being kicked upstairs for opening fire or not opening fire.
Teamwork, that is the secret of my success and I built my own team brick by brick giving them some liberty. Daya can break or kick open as many doors as he liked or smack a ‘phataka’ on the face of a suspect to get a confession. (I did not like it when he entered a dance show, but boys will be boys.) Abhijit carries on a mild flirtation with pretty forensic expert Dr Tarika. Freddy plays the fool and is desperately scared of his wife and the ghosts (atma), though not in that order. Want to know a better allrounder than Gary Sobers and Jaques Kallis combined. That is my forensic expert-cum-pathologist-cum-fingerprint expert-cum-handwriting expert cum so many other things, Dr Salunke. With such a team, how will the CID ever lose? Our crime detection was based on simple, logical thinking and hard work. One victim died of ‘Curare’ poisoning. I tell Vivek and Freddy, “Dhoondo, South America mein, poori duniya mein dhoondo” and within no time they were back with the results. Whichever case came to us we tackled it with our full team, which may or may not indicate that we didn’t have sufficient work.
No one interfered with our work, neither the commissioner nor the ministers. Occasionally, the DCP, who looks as though he’s come straight from the sets of a horror movie, tries to discredit us but we take care of him properly. Occasionally, for the sake of variety, we make Daya or Abhijit suspects in anti-national activities but as is to be expected they clear themselves and come out with flying colours. Why, in some episodes even I am framed and made to look like a double agent but all that only added to the fun. One of these days, I plan to have a case where Abhijit is suspected of being a woman running a ‘honey pot’ racket, but is then cleared by Dr Tarika who proves he’s a MAN after all!
Sometimes I feel I am Sherlock Holmes with a dozen Dr Watsons. The Watsons throw points and I come out with brilliant solutions. “Sir, suspect hotel room No. 222 mein 10 baje aaya aur 11 baje nikal gaya, laash ko room mein chhod ke” and I come out with the brilliant solution, “Iska matlab hai khoon 10 aur 11 ke beech mein hua!” The devastating last line was always mine, “Jail mein chakki peesoge, phansi ka order aane tak.” Provided there were no mercy petitions!
The Mumbai-based satirist is the creator of ‘Trishanku’; E-mail your secret diarist: vgangadhar70 AT gmail.com
Thank you to all those who have taken the trouble to read the article and share their thoughts. Out of the arguments made here, there are two that perhaps need answering. So here they go.
1. The first part of the article compares outcomes (relative percentages of population of the religions concerned) irrespective of the process that led to those outcomes - whether immigration, relatively faster population growth or conversions. This was for two reasons. One, to put the figure of 2.3 per cent in "numerical perspective", as the article itself explained. The second reason was that outcomes are ultimately what the crux of debate is about. The rest of the article in any case dealt with process - or conversions in this case, from both a contemporary and historical perspective.
2. Some commenters have tried to cast doubts on the reliability of Census 2001. Those who do this should bear in mind that Census 2001 was conducted by a BJP government. Considering the extreme importance that BJP gives to this issue, it would be reasonable to expect that IF it had perceived a problem with the methodology that was distorting the numbers, it would have fixed it. As the article mentioned, BJP or BJP-supported governments have been in power for 10 of the last 40 years, or about a quarter of the time, and the only reasonable conclusion one can arrive at is that any misreporting of numbers, real or perceived, would be marginal and hence, not of importance.
To all other arguments made, my answer is the following: Please read the article again, with particular focus on the quotations of Vivekananda and Monier Williams, and the history of the missionary efforts in Bengal and their outcome.
CID is a sweet detective programme. The story is always similar (murder ,ACPs analysis , slap on the face of the suspect who in the next frame is crying and confessing . ) No James Bond gadgetry - an old qualis and dr. Salunkes Lab. Same punchlines and same characters who have not aged in last 15 yrs.
My Salute to ACP, Daya, Abhijeet, Fredricks and Dr Salunke.
'Daya - Darwaaja ToDD do!!' Hell yeah!!
Kuch tho Gadbad hai Daya Kuch tho gudbad hai.This sentence is equally popular across the country as "Arre oh Sambha kitne aadmi the re" of Gabbar Singh.ACP has put life into this serial with his looks,harsh but commanding voice,his looks and his approoches.I like hiam and this serial CID.
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