Looking after the Universe is no joke. Which is why I keep 180-plus secret diaries, one for each nation on earth. They have to be secret because most of the diary entries are unpalatable, unnerving and unmentionable. Sorry to start this diary page with a denial. Ha, I don’t want to sound like a politician but I strongly deny ever wanting Narendra Modi to lead India. This was quoted by someone called Ashok Singhal in a media interview (“Even God wants him to lead”). I don’t like this recent trend of dragging in people, and hinting they wanted this thing or that. As the constitutional head of the universe, I cannot break the law of refraining from comments on the internal affairs of other regions, including Earth. I checked with my fellow gods and goddesses and other Heaven residents, but not one among them said they wanted Modi to lead. But Lord Yama told me in confidence he was studying the issue and would not mind this Modi bloke leading his region.
Look, frankly I’m disgusted at this increasing tendency on Earth to drag my name into all their petty controversies, ‘God wants this, God will bless this, We are doing this for God’ and so on. These views are by people who know nothing about me and don’t care about me. They created havoc on the Ram mandir issue. I want temples, but in the hearts of people and not on some controversial plot of land. These blokes made statements about me which are libellous. I phoned my son Ram, he was quite upset at this Singhal bloke’s outrageous view, “Ram ki mahashakti hai Modi.” He confessed that such a view made him weak and minus his usual shakti. Ram just wanted to be left alone, the earth people had done enough to besmirch his name.
I was referring to some of the back pages on my India Secret Diary. Distressing! Where are the Gandhis, the Vivekanandas, the Jawaharlals and Mother Teresas? In their place, we have these Singhals, Togadias, Modis, one of them harping on the issue of development and developing a nation after it had been destroyed. But what really upset me was the linking of my name to a number of so-called godmen. One of them is in deep trouble. Imagine this so-called godman being made to undergo a potency test. Ultimate insult to me. In my days, genuine rishis were potent enough to procreate at the slightest provocation like the appearance of an apsara in front of them!
A warning to the likes of Singhal and Asaram. I have had enough of yatras and disturbing of innocent people. On any future yatra day, I may ask my colleague Varuna to open up the sky and create a deluge on the yatra routes. Drenched to the skin, the fake godmen and their chamchas will catch pneumonia and achooo!
The Mumbai-based satirist is the creator of ‘Trishanku’; E-mail your secret diarist: vgangadhar70 AT gmail.com
After decades of enouraging religion and God-men, it is good to see that the media has finally turned against irrationality.
However, to be effective, irrationality has to be fought in the kindergardens.
We at Outlookindia.com welcome feedback and your comments, including scathing criticism
1. Scathing, passionate, even angry critiques are welcome, but please do not indulge in abuse and invective. Our Primary concern is to keep the debate civil. We urge our users to try and express their disagreements without being disagreeable. Personal attacks are not welcome. No ad hominem please.
2. Please do not post the same message again and again in the same or different threads
3. Please keep your responses confined to the subject matter of the article you are responding to. Please note that our comments section is not a general free-for-all but for feedback to articles/blogs posted on the site
4. Our endeavour is to keep these forums unmoderated and unexpurgated. But if any of the above three conditions are violated, we reserve the right to delete any comment that we deem objectionable and also to withdraw posting privileges from the abuser. Please also note that hate-speech is punishable by law and in extreme circumstances, we may be forced to take legal action by tracing the IP addresses of the poster.
5. If someone is being abusive or personal, or generally being a troll or a flame-baiter, please do not descend to their level. The best response to such posters is to ignore them and send us a message at Mail AT outlookindia DOT com with the subject header COMPLAINT
6. Please do not copy and paste copyrighted material. If you do think that an article elsewhere has relevance to the point you wish to make, please only quote what is considered fair-use and provide a link to the article under question.
7. There is no particular outlookindia.com line on any subject. The views expressed in our opinion section are those of the author concerned and not that of all of outlookindia.com or all its authors.
8. Please also note that you are solely responsible for the comments posted by you on the site. The comments could be deleted or edited entirely at our discretion if we find them objectionable. However, the mere fact of their existence on our site does not mean that we necessarily approve of their contents. In short, the onus of responsibility for the comments remains solely with the authors thereof. Outlookindia.com or any of its group publications, may, however, retains the right to publish any of these comments, with or without editing, in any medium whatsoever. It is therefore in your own interest to be careful before posting.
9.Outlookindia.com is not responsible in any manner whatsoever for how any search engine -- such as Google, Bing etc -- caches or displays these comments. Please note that you are solely responsible for posting these comments and it is a privilege being granted to our registered users which can be withdrawn in case of abuse. To reiterate:
a. Comments once posted can only be deleted at the discretion of outlookindia.com
b. The comments reflect the views of the authors and not of outlookindia.com
c. outlookindia.com is not responsible in any manner whatsoever for the way search engines cache or display these comments
d. Please therefore take due caution before you post any comments as your words could potentially be used against you
10. We have an online thread for our comments policy:
You are welcome to post your suggestions here or in case you have a specific issue, to directly email us at Mail AT outlookindia DOT com with the subject header COMPLAINT