Best way to get rid of impotent fury is to sweat it out. Didn’t work in this case though. For four hours I watched a video of the TV epic Mahabharat, focusing on where the Kauravas led by Dusshasana try in vain to strip Draupadi. Ha, couldn’t even manage this simple job. I wouldn’t be watching this but the US embassy didn’t have a single DVD of Gypsy Rose Lee, the famous stripper who called herself a ‘burlesque entertainer’, somewhat like what I do on my daily TV appearances. So why this obsession with stripping, you ask? Because that is what I had planned for that alleged economist, Amartya Sen, who rejected our beloved Narendra Modi as a possible next Indian prime minister. So what if Sen was a Nobel laureate? These days anyone can get it. I will recognise the Nobel only after its committee institutes a prize for development and hands one to NaMo.
Yes, it’s true I went on repeating that Sen should be stripped of his Bharat Ratna. In my sound and fury, which signified nothing, I clean forgot that the NDA under Atalji had presented Sen with this award. Bloomers always happen to regular BJP spokespersons on TV like myself.
At this moment, let me take a time-out, remember my Tennyson, and sing a dirge for us saffron spokespersons....
Nonsense to the right of Nirmala
Nonsense to the left of Meenakshi.
Nonsense behind Smriti, someone has blundered
As usual it was I, on the cursed Sen!
But then the party did not agree with me and distanced itself from my remarks. Nirmala made the announcement, though in private they all congratulated me. I must appreciate the ‘highly cultured’ BJP cadre, though, who never let the party down. Our brave warriors went hammer and tongs at Sen’s daughter, digging up a bikini-clad pic, purportedly of hers, rounding off the whole thing with a nice, abusive caption. So long as the BJP flaunts such bravehearts, Hindu culture is safe. Of course, I condemned their action on TV but if you watch me closely, you might have detected that twinkle in my eye!
Life would be much more pleasant if all these Nobel laureates and Bharat Ratnas knew where to stop. Many people in my cultured party have pointed out that Sen was a Congress-type of economist clinging to old-fashioned theories unlike our young and vigorous Advaniji who is full of youthful zest, even today. Our leader is even today ready to advise NaMo on how to bag the ‘Peace Nobel’. Maybe it can even be presented to him at one of his favourite places in Gujarat, Naroda Patiya.
The Mumbai-based satirist is the creator of ‘Trishanku’; E-mail your secret diarist: vgangadhar70 AT gmail.com
To Gangadhar, the ...
"Best way to get rid of impotent fury ..."
...must be to write the 'Secret Diary'!
The Diary rings so true!
Like every Bengali Chandan Mitra too takes pride in saying that G. K. Gokhale had paid compliment "What Bengal thinks today India thinks tomorrow" even while he wrote a piece sometime back in Outlook on bhadralok Bengali quisine.
I tried to find out when and where did the great Maharashtrian leader say so. In my earnestness, I even called Gokhale Institute, Poone seeking help. The person on the other end promised to do the needful. He, of course, told me he was unaware of such a statement by the great patriot. I haven't heard anything from the esteemed Institute in Poone.
I looked for Gokhale's Presidential address to the Indian National Congress at its Benares session in 1905. In course of his speech, Gokhale told, "What educated Indians think today, rest of India will think tomorrow." Some intelligent Bengali, I guess, distorted Gokhale's aforesaid statement and declared, "What Bengal thinks today, India thinks tomorrow." He deserved a Bharat Ratna for such mischief.
But Bengalis took it for granted. Every child writes it in his exams., repeats in debates, and public speaking. Every leader too do so. and every journalist and some MPs too throws it in their writings.
Mitra has qualified for a Bharat Ratna.
We at Outlookindia.com welcome feedback and your comments, including scathing criticism
1. Scathing, passionate, even angry critiques are welcome, but please do not indulge in abuse and invective. Our Primary concern is to keep the debate civil. We urge our users to try and express their disagreements without being disagreeable. Personal attacks are not welcome. No ad hominem please.
2. Please do not post the same message again and again in the same or different threads
3. Please keep your responses confined to the subject matter of the article you are responding to. Please note that our comments section is not a general free-for-all but for feedback to articles/blogs posted on the site
4. Our endeavour is to keep these forums unmoderated and unexpurgated. But if any of the above three conditions are violated, we reserve the right to delete any comment that we deem objectionable and also to withdraw posting privileges from the abuser. Please also note that hate-speech is punishable by law and in extreme circumstances, we may be forced to take legal action by tracing the IP addresses of the poster.
5. If someone is being abusive or personal, or generally being a troll or a flame-baiter, please do not descend to their level. The best response to such posters is to ignore them and send us a message at Mail AT outlookindia DOT com with the subject header COMPLAINT
6. Please do not copy and paste copyrighted material. If you do think that an article elsewhere has relevance to the point you wish to make, please only quote what is considered fair-use and provide a link to the article under question.
7. There is no particular outlookindia.com line on any subject. The views expressed in our opinion section are those of the author concerned and not that of all of outlookindia.com or all its authors.
8. Please also note that you are solely responsible for the comments posted by you on the site. The comments could be deleted or edited entirely at our discretion if we find them objectionable. However, the mere fact of their existence on our site does not mean that we necessarily approve of their contents. In short, the onus of responsibility for the comments remains solely with the authors thereof. Outlookindia.com or any of its group publications, may, however, retains the right to publish any of these comments, with or without editing, in any medium whatsoever. It is therefore in your own interest to be careful before posting.
9.Outlookindia.com is not responsible in any manner whatsoever for how any search engine -- such as Google, Bing etc -- caches or displays these comments. Please note that you are solely responsible for posting these comments and it is a privilege being granted to our registered users which can be withdrawn in case of abuse. To reiterate:
a. Comments once posted can only be deleted at the discretion of outlookindia.com
b. The comments reflect the views of the authors and not of outlookindia.com
c. outlookindia.com is not responsible in any manner whatsoever for the way search engines cache or display these comments
d. Please therefore take due caution before you post any comments as your words could potentially be used against you
10. We have an online thread for our comments policy:
You are welcome to post your suggestions here or in case you have a specific issue, to directly email us at Mail AT outlookindia DOT com with the subject header COMPLAINT