I tell you, sometimes fiction can be stranger than the truth. So let me put it on record here that Shashi and I did not meet at the Al Muntaha restaurant in the Burj Al Arab hotel in Dubai. Neither was I introduced to him by an Arab playboy who goes by the moniker Sheikh Yerbooty, as alleged by people on Twitter. Actually, jab we first met I was at the Pushkar festival. We were both riding a Bactrian camel (the one with two humps) which had come all the way from the Gobi desert to chill out in Rajasthan. Anyway, five minutes into the ride Shashi, for some strange reason, said aloud “I love Pushkar.” I quickly added, “I am Pushkar”. That’s where it all started. Incidentally, our camel, which went by the name Bao Zing (wise one), apparently whispered in Chinese to Shashi that we make a good couple. “This camel has real horse sense,” he said and patted Zing on his back. That was the moment we realised we were made for each other. Later that evening we went out for dinner to the Third Eye restaurant.
Shashi was quick to note that I was qualified in every way to be his third wife and he my third husband. For one, like Christina (biwi no. 2) I had a Canadian passport. Also, I am based in Dubai (his favourite city) so this would not be a internal desi affair and would fit in just well with his external affairs portfolio. When I pointed this out to him, he wondered who’d be a suitable match for, say, a ‘joint’ secretary or a ‘vice’ chancellor. Well, Shashi can really be funny even when he’s not on Twitter. Anyway, to cut a long pyaar ka story short, we have been seeing a lot of each other and he is impressed that I know more swear words in Malayalam than he does (you tend to pick them up in Dubai). I also don’t mind spending an entire evening in cricket gear (bat and gloves included). And I know all his hi-flying pals in Dubai and prefer peanut butter to reading Nietzche. But that’s a different story....
Finally, before I forget, let me come clean on the IPL tamasha. I must admit I was a tad surprised when this chap claiming to be from Rendezvous Sports World offered me shares in the Kochi team. But then I’m also a person who believes that the best things in life (like equity) comes free. (For everything else, there is Mastercard.) Anyway, jokes apart, let me put it in writing that my being given a stake has nothing to do with Shashi or the fact that we are getting married in June. It has more to do with Lalit Modi. I now suspect it was he (speaking with a thick Mallu accent, picked obviously from late-night Surya TV) who offered me the shares and later went public to embarrass everyone. But now the damage is done, so what’s the way forward? A friend suggests that I sell the stake and start a 20-20 league in Dubai with the help of Shoaib Malik and Sania Mirza. Shashi can join me in the venture—it will purely be an external affair.
(As imagined by Ajith Pillai)
[[WOMEN - they seem to rule the IPL scene, and I thought cricket is a gentlemans game!]]
A gentle man is a woman in drag. :-)
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