Atalji did it from Kumarakom. Now I'm penning my musings from Pilibhit district jail. I am aware that every word written/spoken by yours truly is being monitored by a private eye hired by the Election Commission through secret funds handed over by RAW in a crumpled airsick bag.
That aside, what I write is for the benefit of all my critics, including Priyanka didi. What does Hindu mean to me? It is a newspaper from Chennai. And Life and Time? One was a magazine till it wound up and the other still comes out. See, I still have my sense of humour! And Hinduism, one is told, is a way of life just like Janpath and Nelson Mandela Marg.
Jokes apart, the last few days have set me thinking on how much of a Hindu I am. I'm half-Sikh because of mom and quarter-Parsi and quarter-Hindu because of dad. But then Rahul bhaiyya is also half-Christian, quarter-Parsi and quarter- Hindu. Perhaps we should all model for the united colours of secularism.
And life in jail? Well, it's alright since khana and coffee comes from home. The only hassle is that one can't sleep at night because the inmates are forever swatting mosquitoes. Must ask mom if that amounts to cruelty.
To be frank, I've quiet enjoyed all the publicity I have been showered with. Also the kudos from the Shiv Sena touched me. Why even the BJP has had to defend me. And wasn't it heart-warming to hear Mulayam Singh Yadav saying that slapping the NSA against me was unfair. I have become his fan overnight. Let me sign off with a quotable quote. Folks, Varun Gandhi would like the world to know that he hates to love and loves to hate.
(PS: They are shifting me out of this prison for security reasons. Apparently those guys with dark glasses at IB have got a tipoff that Don No. 2 Chhota Shakeel wants to bump me off. So goodbye, Pilibhit. Hello, Etah.)